This is a phrase I have adopted over time and use, probably, every
single day. It has become a kind of
mantra to me, reminding me that everything happens not only as it should, but
for a reason. I may not be able to
see/understand/respect that reason right now, but I know, in time, I will see
it clearly. After all, is that not the beauty
of hindsight? Knowing later that
something that has happened did indeed happen for a reason? Honestly, if nothing else, this mentality
gives me a sense of peace about the nature of things. That the reality of a situation is exactly
what it is. Often there is no changing
that reality and the only option available is accepting it and moving forward,
whatever it takes. Over the course of my life, I have had some intense
sadnesses, some overwhelming tests, and some wonderful joys. At this point, I
can see how many of those events have either individually, or in partner with other
events, gotten me to where I am today.
Each relationship, a set of experiences that have taught me how to
approach certain situations, leading me down a path to my best friend, husband
and love of my life. Each misstep with my parents, a calculated lesson in how
family dynamics have not only shaped me as a person, but as the parent I was meant
to, and am trying to, be. Each missed
opportunity in my career teaching me something new about the kind of educator I
actually want to be. All of these things
teaching me lessons I couldn’t have learned otherwise, in any other way. It’s like that song “God Blessed the Broken
Road” - every wrong turn and hard day leads you to where you need to be. Or, maybe I just really enjoy the toil of a
good hard lesson. Either way, in light
of this knowledge, I try to have a ‘”go with the flow” attitude about a lot of
things. I try really hard to not let
these events hinder my progress or stop me from moving forward. I look for the lesson and if I can’t see it
clearly yet – well, maybe I will later, but for now, I guess it just is what it
is.
Lesson 17: Everything you do to others has already been done to you.This lesson is a lot like, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you,” except with a Karmic twist. It’s actually a lot like Newton’s Third Law of Motion – every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Everything you do, both good and bad, will come back to you some day. Maybe not right away, but eventually Karma does comes back around. I've not only seen this with others, but have experienced it myself. Because of this, it makes logical sense that if you are putting positivity out there into the world each and every day, then you will, in turn get positive things back. Not always and every time; no one is immune to bad things happening occasionally. But if you follow lessons 30, 28, and even lesson 19, putting good energy out there, you are doing well to fill your Karmic tank. Any negative energy you put out there is sure to find its way back to you in a similar fashion. I think the trickiest part of this is being able to recognize your own actions for what they are. Sometimes our thoughts, comments and actions happen without much premeditation. It’s out there before we mean it to be. But, every person has a choice of how to behave, react, speak, and interact with others. It is one of the only things we truly DO have control over. Let’s face it, even though I may have learned this lesson, I am as culpable, if not more sometimes, in these situations as anyone else. Just today, in traffic, while certain individuals were riding the merging lane as far as it would go to jump ahead (one of my all time pet peeves and definite rage buttons) I had to work SO hard to not only not think terrible thoughts about them, but to also stop myself from actually screaming out loud at them in my car. I caught myself. Who does that really help? Sure, it makes me feel a little better in the moment, but it also riles me up and makes me head down a slippery slope of anger and negativity. And while I’m on my way to pick up my kiddo? Not a good head space to be in. I have to believe that some day, when I, obviously, will not be looking, those people will get their true due process in traffic. It all comes back around. Such it is with anything. It’s what keeps me motivated to stay positive and help others when I can. Not just because I want to get something good back, but because it’s the right thing to do. Because putting the positive stuff out there is going to fuel more positivity on the other end. Because when it does come back around, I’d rather have a pat on the back than a bite in the ass.
Lesson 18: Everyone has the unconditional right to believe what they want.
This is not just a lesson I’ve learned, but actually one of our rights as stated in the Basic Human Rights Act. I suppose this is arguably one of the greatest rights we hold in this country in which we live, but is also one of the hardest ones to remember, especially in that moment when someone says something in direct opposition to your own belief. This right doesn’t mean you have to like anyone else’s belief/opinion, it definitely doesn’t mean you need to subscribe to it. It just means everyone has the right to hold that belief/opinion and, in turn, have the opinion that other opinions are crazy/unfounded/ludicrous. This right also, if I might add, includes the right to change that opinion or belief at any given time. As someone who dated an atheist and married a Republican (not the same person), I have definitely learned this lesson and value the phrase “agree to disagree.” Sometimes, if not often, “agree to disagree” is the most reasonable and responsible answer to an argument (this was a HUGE lesson for me). Now, obviously and in direct reflection of the law, actions committed in the name of these beliefs are a completely different thing. But, I am talking about beliefs and/or opinions in the name of discourse and free speech. This has been a hard lesson to accept, especially when the beliefs/opinions get outright hateful. It’s impossibly hard to not judge/condemn/hate someone for something that is hateful or in opposition of your core set of values. But, at the end of the day, I have to remember that these beliefs/opinions go hand in hand with years of lessons, experiences, and environmental exposure that I, personally, can’t change. People don’t just come upon beliefs/opinions overnight (at least in general). They are typically marked by complicated histories and full of lots of backstory that you aren’t privy to. The only comforting element is knowing that you alone have control over what your beliefs are and who you associate with in relationship to these beliefs. You get to draw your own lines in the sand of what is acceptable to bring in your sphere and what is a deal breaker. It’s not my job to judge or condemn anyone for their beliefs, nor am I interested in doing so. It is, however, my job to have a firm grasp on what it is that I believe and then raise my children with the beliefs and values I think are most important, hoping that, one day, those lessons will serve them in making a positive, productive contribution and impact on their world.
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