Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Holiday Road: A Jorgan Family Experience Part 1


Deployment #2, just after they flew away
One of the best things about military life is the communities in which you find yourself when you move around.  We have been fortunate in our travels to have been a part of some small, but tightly knit communities that have really become special to us.  When we lived in San Diego, Ryan’s squadron, The Purple Foxes, was definitely like an extended family for us.  It was a unique community of people all bonded by a legendary history.  We spent almost 5 years together and survived 2 deployments as a group, supporting each other, playing together and starting families in Southern California.  Our families all keep track of each other still and we try to reunite any time any of us are in the same town. 

In an odd twist, one Fox family in particular got selected for the FAO program at the same time that we did.  We were already close with The Jones’ when we lived in San Diego, so were thrilled when we found out we would also be living in Monterey at the same time as them.  Transitioning away from our happy spot in Southern California was made a little easier knowing we would have the companionship of these friends as we continued down the Marine Corps road.  They helped us get set up in our amazing house near Cannery Row, we shared dinners and birthdays and holidays together and even added a little boy to each of our families during our time in Monterey. 
The Jones family spent their year abroad in Jakarta, Indonesia, having left for their experience about 10 months before we left for Sri Lanka.  When we arrived in South Asia, they were just getting ready to wrap up their time abroad.  We couldn’t pass up the opportunity to cross paths while in the same part of the world, though!  So, the Jones’ decided to make Sri Lanka their last touring destination before heading back to the States for their next posting.  
After a few weeks of planning and coordinating, Cassidy brought her two kiddos over to Colombo.  Zac was still wrapping up a trip in Vietnam when they arrived, so he followed along later.  That gave Cassidy, me and the kiddos several days to do some fun Colombo stuff while Ryan got work done at the Embassy.  We spent a lot of time at home, letting the kids play while Cassidy and I chatted over 1000 piece jigsaw puzzles.  We also went to the park, out to lunch and to a few close places around town.  We had only been in Colombo about a month when they arrived, so we were still getting familiar with everything.  It was so nice to have friends that felt like family around to hang out with, we spent a lot of time chatting about their experiences abroad and framing our expectations for international travel with small children.  Zac and Cassidy’s kids are 3 ½ and 1, so pretty close in age to our own.  We had a lot of information to exchange.

Once Zac arrived, we celebrated Independence Day together at our home and prepared for our first Sri Lankan road trip. Appropriately, our first excursion abroad matched up with the Jones’ last.  We packed up our bags, our gear and our kids and piled into a big van with our driver Kuruna and set off to explore some of the more central parts of Sri Lanka.  More specifically, we were headed for Dambulla, Sigiriya and Kandy.  As we settled into our seats and began pulling away from our building, Zac turned on the song “Holiday Road,” which made me laugh out loud while simultaneously making me thankful we were able to share this exciting adventure with such wonderful friends.  We drove off singing, “Holiday Rooooaaaaaaaad,” ready for whatever Griswold style mishaps and fun were likely to come our way.

Our goal was to make it to Dambulla by dinner time.  We had aimed for a post lunch, naptime exit, but overshot a little, which left us at the throes of the afternoon/evening traffic that plagues the roads here.  It’s about 165 Kilometers (little less than 110 miles) to Dambulla, which would take about 4.5 hours (we anticipated).  It may sound crazy that driving 100 miles would take over 4 hours, but now is a good time to explain how the roads in Sri Lanka work.  Inside the city there is a lot of traffic and, as I explained in a previous post, the rules of the road are not nearly the same here as they are in the States.  Once you get outside the city there is still traffic, but now it is happening on a two-lane (or less) road, with little shoulder and lots of pedestrians and dogs all over the place.  On top of that, the roads get significantly curvier once you leave the city.  We are talking constant, sometimes hairpin style curves, mixed with quick stopping tuk-tuks and randomly crossing dogs and pedestrian traffic.  All of this accounts for your top speed of about 30 mph, if you are lucky – but usually much less.  It easily takes 3-4 times longer than distance would otherwise suggest to get anywhere you want to go, every time you leave the house.  A harsh, but true reality.  Now, add 4 small children to this equation and you have a small understanding of our undertaking.

Once we got going, we all fell into our own little reveries.  The kids all fell asleep after a little bit of driving, while we adults read/closed our eyes/stared out the window taking in the scenery.  This was our family’s first venture outside of Colombo, so although I intended on some good magazine reading time, I found my eyes glued out the window, trying to take it all in as we drove.
It was during this time that I truly realized how driving in Sri Lanka is on a whole other level than anywhere else I have ever been before.  Here’s the thing, even though you aren’t going very fast, there is a constant kind of lurching forwards and back, particularly with the kind of stick shift van we had for this trip.  Because traffic, twisty roads, lane swerving, and pedestrians and dogs cause constant shifts while driving, the van spends most of its time speeding up and slowing down over and over and over again, all while twisting down winding roads.  Not to mention the fact that you have to quickly disengage your reflex to grip the seat every time you swerve into the other lane to pass the vehicle in front of you only to play chicken with an oncoming bus, tuk, motorcycle, or cyclist.  The center line is more like a suggestion, not necessarily an indication of lanes or rules.  At this point, I decided looking out the side windows was my best option…
Wyoming - so beautiful but miles and miles of empty space 
As I gazed out, I started to notice a lot of similarities from other road trips I have taken in the past.  Have you ever driven through a desolate area and then come upon a small town, out in the middle of nowhere?  The kind where you drive through and find yourself wondering about the people that live in that town.  What do they do?  Is their family there and why do they stay so far removed from everything?  I think about these things all of the time while I am traveling.  I always want to know everyone’s stories.  For instance, we did a road trip through Wyoming a few years ago and driving there felt like being on another planet.  There was so much wide open, empty space with nothing for miles and miles except flat, dusty, tumbleweed littered landscape.  Then here and there, small houses, sometimes all alone and sometimes in groups, would dot the landscape. It is easy to forget, while living in highly populated areas, that these vast expanses exist in our country. But people have homes out here, just out next to nothing except dust, wide open space and the emptiness of the desert landscape.  What do they do for fun?  Where do they work?  How do they spend a Saturday night?  I'm endlessly curious.
In a different way, I had these same thoughts driving through all of the small towns along the way to Dambulla, peering out at the houses and people passing by.  But different from Wyoming, there are countless towns here, with lots of side streets, homes and people.  And here they are having the same kind of Sunday I might have if I was still living in the States, but somehow it still seems like another planet.  These are the things that make me realize just how incredibly vast this world truly is, but also how small it is too.  Small towns on the other side of the world make me realize that so much of life is exactly the same everywhere on the planet, it just looks a little different depending on your latitude and longitude.  Everyone here is doing their market shopping on Sunday afternoon or heading home to get dinner ready.  They are raking their front yards and sweeping their front stoops.  They are washing cars, playing Cricket, and carrying sleepy toddlers home for nap time.  And yet, despite the sameness of it all, it feels so vastly different here.  These aren't manicured streets, sidewalks and lawns I'm seeing as we drive by.  This is a mass of humanity, moving about seamlessly among tuk tuks, bikes, motorcyles, cars and busses.  People shopping at roadside market stands, stepping over broken curbs and scattered bits of trash in their sarongs and sarees.   It's the same basic plotline but the characters and setting are vastly different.  I find comfort and fascination in all of that.

And then there is the sudden sound of kids vomiting in the car….wait, what?!  As I was writing those last notes, I was torn out of my existential reverie by the sounds of Little Boy whining, then shouting, then vomiting the entire contents of his stomach all over himself and his car seat right next to me.  Apparently, the constant push and pull of the van finally got the better of him.  We lurched forward through the traffic to a nearby grocery store parking lot as he helplessly whimpered at me.  We jumped out and removed Little Boy, car seat and all, onto the dusty dirt driveway of Cargill’s grocery.  I ran inside to buy some soap, water and napkins to try and clean the massacre.  We stripped him down in the parking lot, rinsed him off, changed his clothes and gave him a small snack to settle him, then stripped the car seat and did our best to clean and rinse then recover it in plastic bags to continue on our way.  He had been rear facing, which for this winding, jerky ride was, in hind sight, a bad choice.  We flipped him around, discarded our pukey trash and continued on down the road.  Zac played “Holiday Road” again as we pulled away, making us all laugh and adding a little necessary levity to the situation.
Not 40 minutes later, I was in the middle of mapping out a place to stop for a rest when, from the backseat, Kiddo could be heard wretching.  Thankfully, Cassidy was primed and ready, helping her catch most of it in a bag.  We pulled over again, cleaned her up, and continued along.  The winding roads, the constant gas then brake style of driving and Kuruna’s insistence that we were “just an hour away” were not working well for us. I have done lots of road trips with my kids that have covered many more miles than we intended for this trip and I’ve never gotten carsick myself or had one of the kids get carsick along the way.  I was honestly shocked when Little Boy got sick.  But I was downright flabbergasted when Kiddo threw up.  This situation was a sharp lesson in some of the tangible differences between experiences in America versus Sri Lanka. 
A Seeming Oasis in the Midst of Our Troubled Times
In the bustle of Kiddo’s car sickness, we missed the turn for the spot I had picked for our resting point.  We asked Kuruna to flip around and head back to Castle Park Restaurant, a spot with a park and a restaurant (according to Google), which was up a narrow and bumpy road.  Unsure of our location as we bumped anxiously along, poking our heads around in curiousity, we finally saw a sign ahead.  We rounded the bend, all ready to breathe a sigh of relief and get the kids out of the car for a little while, when we approached 2 large iron gates.  That were closed.  The park had closed 40 minutes ago.  Damn it. 
Feeling the sting of defeat at a moment crucial to our sanity, we had to make a decision on the spot.  Press on and just try to get there or find another resting point and take a break?  Kuruna assured us it was only another hour or so to our hotel.  None of us believed him, but we still decided to turn on a movie for the kids, pass out some snacks and fruit, and press on. 
1 hour very slowly turned into 2 and a half, when our third puking casualty in the back of the van hit: Cassidy’s little one had just succumbed to the lurching of the van as well.  She cleaned it up as we drove, insisting that we should just get there.  So that’s what we did.  I found myself watching the map as we slowly crawled toward the hotel, feeling like if I watched our progress and could see how close (or how far we still were) somehow that would make it more bearable.  But finally, around 8:30, we pulled into the Sundaras Resort.  We all leapt from the van, anxious to escape the pukey fumes of the van, get cleaned up and finally eat the dinner we had been postponing for 3 hours.  Thankfully the hotel continued their dinner service until 10, so we were glad for small miracles such as this. 

While I had been watching the map, I imagined this “resort” to be a little more refined than what it turned out to be.  Don’t get me wrong, it was perfectly respectable.  The staff even kindly greeted us at the front desk with some delicious, fresh juice upon our arrival.  But when one hears the word “resort,” a certain expectation is created.  This was another example of my education in the art of "lowering your expectations."  It's necessary to remember that most things do not typically mean the same thing here as they mean in other places.
We dropped our things in our rooms and had our first look at Sri Lankan style hotel hospitality in one of the smaller towns.  Our room was small, but large enough for us each to have our own sleeping space.  There was A/C (yay!), although it was a single wall mounted unit that we were encouraged to keep off unless we were in the room using it.  Through the second door we discovered the bathroom was partially outside – quite a surprise!  The toilet and sink were in an all tile room that opened to a walled in outside room, where the shower was located.  The shower head was over a slab of concrete raised over some rocks, covered by trees.  There were no lights in this shower space, just the dull beam from the dingy light in the tile room.  The kids thought it was awesome that there were geckos climbing all over the walls and that they could shower outside – I was less impressed, but again, it was perfectly fine.  I was glad for the geckos, as I hoped they would keep some of the mosquitos out of our room while we slept.  It seemed that our room was a bit more rustic than maybe some of the others in the place, but it was definitely manageable and we fared just fine in it.
This was during the day, at night it was also pretty while lit up
Can you spot our thirsty new friend?
After we checked out our room, we layered on the bug spray and went to find the buffet, which was around the backside of the hotel.  This, too, was located outside, under a pavilion.  On offer that evening was some standard rice & curry, assorted vegetable curries, dhal, salad, and spaghetti, of all things.  I was as surprised as anyone, but it was a relief to know the kids would have something to eat besides the plate of watermelon that they found on the dessert table.  They were also making fresh hoppers – we ate quite a few of those.  We had some with the curry, but we enjoyed a fair number drizzled in honey as well, for dessert.  Yum!  As we ate our dinner, we noticed that the hotel had a pretty nice pool,situated behind us, with a swim up bar that appeared to be open late.  As tempting as that was, we chose to get the kids into the rooms and ready for sleep instead.  It had been a long day for everyone and I think we were all ready to put this one to bed.

To Be Continued...