Learning a New Food Language

Maybe it is my passion for food in general, but I think that the heart and soul of a place resides in its local cuisine.  You gain a unique perspective about a place and its people when you sit down and take in a meal in that space.  A meal that has been expertly crafted from hands that don’t think twice about the ingredients or their preparation.  You smell the aromas of the spices, as they have existed in homes in that place for decades or even centuries.  You taste the varied and sometimes hidden flavors that can only be found in that particular kind of recipe.  You understand where a person comes from when you understand the food that has fueled their life.  And it doesn’t have to be somewhere exotic, like Sri Lanka; I feel that way about just about any place I’ve lived or visited, from the Northeast, to down South, to the West Coast, all the way to South Asia.  Food is an experience, one that is meant to be shared as such, like a conversation between a culture and an individual. 

The style of food here is quite different than what we were used to back in the States.  Ryan and I love South Asian food and we love things spicy; if we ordered out, we would more often than not order ethnic cuisines back home.  Hence, in our preparation for this move, found a Sri Lankan restaurant in Santa Cruz, California.  We tried to eat there several times, but always failed because we could never figure out when they were open.  Once nailed it down, we were excited to get a window into what we were going to be experiencing in our new home.  I had no idea what to expect going in – I had never had Sri Lankan food before.  The best I could guess was that it was going to be something like Indian food, which I love, so I wasn’t too concerned.  I hate to say it, but our experience at that restaurant wasn’t great.  This was more the fault of the restaurant itself and its staff and not the style of cuisine.  It may have been a bad night, as I've read some really glowing reviews about the place, but knowing what I know now, the execution just wasn’t there.  Some of the food was decent, but overall a lot of it was not enjoyable because it was extremely spicy – seemingly just for the sake of being spicy and not for the flavor of it.  As I have said before, Ryan and I like it hot so, we were prepared to take on whatever this place had to offer.  But, spicy food is not just about eating something to burn your face off.  There is a delicate balance of heat and flavor that comes with it as well.  Good spicy food has an intense amount of flavor with the heat, or at least it should.  With this food, it was hard to taste any flavors because the level of heat masked it all.  Needless to say we were both disappointed and a touch nervous about what we would find in our new home.  We reasoned that it was likely this restaurant was its own thing and not a full representation of Sri Lanka itself – so we walked away with that understanding and hoped for the best.

A Standard Plate of Sri Lankan Food

A Standard Plate of Indian Food

Here's what I have learned about Sri Lankan food since that isolated experience.  Yes, it does share a kinship with Indian food; there are some similarities.  Curry stands at the forefront of many main dishes; rice is a staple; coconut milk is used very often; and meals involve many side dishes and “condiments.”  But there are so many delicious and interesting nuances to Sri Lankan cuisine that set it apart from Indian food – especially since “Indian food” is really an umbrella term for the MANY styles of food that exist within the great space of India itself. That said, if you enjoy Indian food then you are probably going to enjoy Sri Lankan food as well.  When you sit down to have a Sri Lankan meal for the first time, though, looking over the menu or table offering can feel overwhelming.  It's really almost like learning a new language. With that in mind, here are the standards and what they mean:

Kiribath (Milk Rice) – Short grain rice boiled in coconut milk – usually packed and formed into a small rectangle or diamond to be served.  Often reserved for ceremonial or special occasions, but served at most hotels in their buffets with the Sri Lankan offerings.

Pittu – shaved coconut and rice flour mixed, steamed and served like rice

  Hoppers – A kind of crepe made from fermented rice flour and coconut water that is cooked in a bowl shaped pan.  Served plain with Curries or Sambols; You can also get Egg Hoppers, which have an egg cracked into the center and then cooked till firm; or Honey Hoppers made with some treacle (syrup made during the sugar refinery process) and possibly served with jaggery (cane sugar which is concentrated from date, cane juice or palm sap and served to sweeten foods, tea, or as a post meal sweet).

String Hoppers – Thin rice noodles, made from red or white rice flour and served with curries

Meat Curry – Prawns, Fish, Crab, Chicken, Beef, Mutton or Goat stewed in broth with curry leaves and spices until tender.

Potato Curry – Potatoes boiled in Coconut milk with chilies and curry leaves/spices.  SOO yummy!

(Honestly, you can make a curry out of almost ANYthing.  I roasted a pumpkin the other day and made a delicious pumpkin curry with some of it - which is a pretty popular dish here - and some green bean curry on the side.  Yum!)

Dhal – Red lentils cooked in coconut milk, curry leaves and spices.

Roti – a dense flatbread made from wheat, rice or brown millet flour and grated coconut

Kottu Roti – A dish made with roti that is cut into noodle-like strips.  It is then combined with vegetables, egg, and/or meats and then chopped feverishly with two blades on curved handles on a flat metal cooktop.  This is a common street food and is akin in flavor and presentation to fried rice, but with a texture like flat noodles.  SUPER delicious and the sound of the blades chopping Kottu is hard to miss when walking down streets with food vendors nearby.

Papadum – A thin, round, crispy kind of chip made from lentil, chickpea or rice flour and served as an accompaniment to a meal

Papadum with a variety of Sambols

Sambols – basically the condiments that accompany most Sri Lankan meals.  There are so many varieties of Sambols, but a few basic ones are Pol Sambol (made from grated coconut, chilies, dried fish, onions, garlic, curry leaves and lime juice ground together); Seeni Sambol (Carmelized onions, chilies, curry leaves, garlic, dried fish); and a variety of others made from kale, carrot, bitter gourd, and okra just to name a few.  They are usually found in small bowls, served with the meal and added as condiments of sorts.

Lamprais – A delicious kind of pocket meal, that is certainly a labor of love and an art form of sorts. Basically, it is a meal wrapped up and steamed inside a toasted banana leaf, but there are a lot of delicious pieces that have to come together for it to be complete.  First you started with a toasted banana leaf and place a small pile of savory short grain rice in the center.  Then, around the edges of the rice you make small piles of different things – usually including a mixed meat curry, a veggie, like stewed/sautéed brinjal, Frikkadels (steamed meatballs), some seeni sambol, and a spicy shrimp paste called Blachan.  You have to know the right places to find really good Lamprais.  We had some lamprais from the Dutch Burgher Union, which is apparently THE place to get it, and it was incredibly delicious.

A Sri Lankan plate will often consist of some kind of rice (either Pittu, Milk Rice, or Steamed Rice), a meat curry (unless vegetarian), potato curry or dhal, 1-2 vegetable dishes (maybe stewed lady fingers - okra, or a cold dish like a cucumber, tomato and onion salad), a few papadum, and a variety of sambols.  You might have regular Hoppers or String Hoppers with your breakfast meal instead of rice, but it generally keeps the same format.  The curries are a bit spicy, but we have yet to find a curry that we haven’t been able to handle – outside of our experience in Santa Cruz.  Actually, I can’t think of any bad Sri Lankan meals I have had since I have been here.  There have certainly been some that stand out in a positive way, but none yet that have been lackluster. 

This style of meal can be served for breakfast, lunch and/or dinner.  During all the traveling we have done so far, we have found that a Sri Lankan style breakfast is always available (sometimes exclusively). Most hotels offer a breakfast buffet, which usually includes all of these standard local dishes, while also serving scrambled eggs, chicken sausages, pancakes, waffles, oatmeal, lots of fruit and a variety of other options.  You could eat Sri Lankan food for all 3 meals a day if you wanted.  Ryan has traveled with the Sri Lankan military a few times and often that is exactly what he has been offered – this kind of plate, with some variations, 3 meals a day.  It should be noted that not all Sri Lankans eat rice and curry every meal of every day.  Some do, but not as a rule.  When they do have rice and curry, though, it is often for the midday meal. 

Another popular style of Sri Lankan cuisine is called Short Eats.  This is sort of Sri Lanka’s version of fast food.  We would think of these as appetizer style foods and can be served that way too.  These foods are also considered a quick bite or snack, though, meant to eat on the run.  Most bakeries, cafes and hotels have a case full of these pastry style snack foods.  In most cases you can find samosas, handpies, or flaky pastries filled with fish, chicken, beef or veggies.  These travel well and eat quickly – hence the name. 

A few interesting and important side notes to eating like a Sri Lankan concern the etiquette with which you experience a Sri Lankan meal.  

First of all, dining happens on a slightly later schedule here than we were used to when we first arrived, particularly dinner.  Most folks eat dinner quite late, usually after 7:30 or later.  We have shown up to restaurants at 6 or 6:30, sometimes even 7 and are often the only people in the place.   

Also, Sri Lankans eat Sri Lankan food with their hands.  Silverware is available and is usually on the table just about everywhere.  But the traditional way to eat Sri Lankan style food is using your hands.  Typically, you grab some rice, dosa, or (string)hopper, ball it up with the curries, veggies and sambol and pop it in your mouth.  There is a delicate, nuanced sweeping style to the hand movement, but it’s really quite easy to pick up.  I have to say, it’s liberating to be encouraged to eat with your hands – it’s what I want to do most of the time anyway, especially when the food is so delicious.  The dishes blend together, as they are meant to, and it becomes a symphony of flavors in each bite.  Because of the eating with hands, it’s important to wash your hands before and after the meal, being sure to only eat with your right hand.  

When you are finished eating, you indicate you are full by leaving a little food on your plate.  It’s polite to take small portions and definitely to have seconds or thirds, as opposed to loading your plate up the first time.  Then, a host knows you are full if you have left some food on your plate.  If you have cleaned your plate, this is an indication that you are still hungry.  

Finally, once a meal is finished and dessert and tea are served, you are expected to quickly wrap it up and head home.  If you are invited over for dinner around 7, it is often the case that you won’t actually eat the dinner for a few hours.  So don’t show up hungry!  We have local friends with kids the same age as our own and generally when we have dinner with them, we follow “normal” protocol – we invite them over, eat dinner soonish after arrival and then chit chat for a bit, wrapping it up when it seems like the kids have diverted into tired and unruly states of behavior.  But, generally in Sri Lanka, you arrive, mingle and chat, eat late, have dessert/tea and leave promptly thereafter.  The hanging out portion of a get together happens in the beginning, with very little lingering expected once the eating is finished.

Sri Lankan food is indicative of its culture - vibrant and steeped in tradition. There is care and love put into each dish as it's made.  Time is taken to simmer and stew things until they are just right.  Unlike cooking in America, where people want things fast and want their dinners ready in 30 minutes or less, cooking happens all day here. Preparations for dinner start early and carry through until the meal is served. People take their time here, there's no rush. Such it is with the food and its service.  But the food itself stands alone, unlike anything else, with its range of powerful flavors like curry and cardamom; pepper and cinnamon; turmeric, garlic and fenugreek; the spicy bite of capcacim; from creamy curd, to stewed meats, vinegary condiments, and sweet coconutty desserts.  The food is an experience for the senses - from the way the coconut oil and curries smell as the food cooks, to the bright colors on the plate, the sounds of kotthu blades or coconut spoons preparing the meal, to the feeling of the rice and curry in your fingers as you place it in your mouth and the blend of flavors on your tastebuds .  It's all delicious, handmade and representative of a beautiful and complex culture.  We have reveled in the experience of tasting each dish, so different from what we ever knew and so much better than we could have imagined.  These flavors and foods are quickly becoming an integral part of our own food language and routine.  

  

Feeding our Family on Foreign Soil

For most people that know me, even just a little bit, it is pretty public knowledge that I love to cook.  Really, I love food, not just as something that satiates a need in your stomach, but as something that fuels your body and, often, your soul.  I love food as an experience, not just a daily requirement.  I also love how food brings people together – it’s often, if not always, at the center of any gathering I host.  People relax around a table of food, conversations develop, relationships feed off of the residuals as people eat, talk and connect.  I thrill at preparing a meal for a crowd of people and gain a deep satisfaction from their enjoyment of the food I have lovingly prepared for them and the community that is shared in the process.  It’s one of the ways I show my love to people – to the heart, through the stomach. 

Cookin in the desert, taking it seriously

All this to say, I take food seriously.  I have always been drawn to the process of how something gets from a garden or farm to a dish on a table.  I grew up on farms and in restaurant kitchens, watching and experiencing the journey food takes from creation to consumption.  I knew what a roux was before I could read and my hands understood soil and seeds from a very early age.  I respect and enjoy every piece of this process - tilling soil, growing food, preparing it and serving it.  My brain was oriented around farm to table movement eons ago.  Because of this, seldom do I embark on a meal without carefully considering all the factors: ensuring that it is exactly what I (or the people around me) want to eat, that it came from somewhere I can trust and that I am going to enjoy it.  For me, there are few things worse than walking away from a meal and saying, “Ugh, that’s not at all what I wanted" or worse, "That made me feel terrible!"  It might seem silly to some – I mean, you’ll get another go at it next meal, right?  But, to me, if food is fuel for our bodies and souls, I don’t want to waste time, energy and calories on something that I am going to either not enjoy, or worse, regret. 

For these reasons, I prepare a majority of the meals that we consume as a family.  I revel in grocery shopping, meal planning and preparation.  I get this from both my mother and my father, who have both spent a lot of time in kitchens along the way.  They share different experiences and they definitely go about the process in very different ways, but I've learned from all of it.  My mother, like me, doesn't always know what she wants to eat, but loves ingredients and grocery stores and could peruse the aisles for hours…and sometimes does.  My father is very direct and routine oriented – as is his personality – so, he knows exactly what meals he is preparing and has a list to match; I could probably even tell you exactly what’s on that list on any given day, right down to the brand.  He knows exactly where the items are located, grabs them in expedient time and is back out the door, onto the next task.  I fall somewhere in the middle – I could grocery shop for hours, I love perusing all the products and I love exploring new stores; however, with small humans in tow, time is of the essence and I usually need to be in and out as quickly as possible.  I don't always know what I want to cook, though, so I rely on the requests of others to guide me. Then, list in hand, I shop expeditiously.  But, I take seriously the ingredients I purchase to make the food I prepare.  I read labels, I check dates, I handpick my produce selectively; I like to know exactly what’s going into the bodies I so love and care for within my home. 

Life in Sri Lanka has made all of these things decidedly more interesting.  One does not just relocate to another country and expect all of her food practices to remain the same all the way around.  I had none of these illusions. I knew that I was going to have to make some concessions and figure out how to make Sri Lankan items work for me outside of my, sorry to say it, pampered American experience.  This starts with groceries, which was one of my biggest concerns before arriving: What would be available?  What should I ship ahead of time?  What can’t I live without that I don’t even know I can’t live without?  When someone takes food as seriously as I do, I had a list of questions that was multiplying rapidly.

There are a few different grocery options here in Colombo.  The two main stores are Cargill’s and Keell’s.  They are essentially the same and carry pretty much the exact same products, just in varying degrees of quality.  There is one other spot called Arpico, which is essentially like a Walmart – it has a full grocery section, but also carries household goods, office products, bedding, and a number of other items.  It’s much bigger than the other two, because of its diversity in products, but the grocery section works in much the same way as the others.  Now, grocery stores here are not nearly as large as those back in the states.  They stock just about everything, you might need, but usually with only 1 or 2 options per item; not like the glut that is the American grocery store, with 6 -10 options for every product on every shelf.  In a lot of ways, this is nice, because it limits the time you spend hmm-ing and haw-ing over which product to commit to; however, in the end you are stuck with whatever that product is, so you hope it will hold the quality you are looking for.  It took a few visits to get the lay of the land, but we soon figured out that eggs are kept on the regular, non-refrigerated shelves; milk can be found in the refrigerated section, but there is far more selection and variety in the boxed, non-refrigerated aisles; There are few if any pre-packaged meat items, you request all meat from the counter clerk; and, you must weigh your produce before you arrive at the check-out. 

Dairy

There is even disco lighting for the shelves of milk

Dairy products in general are quite different here than what we are used to.  Because of this, Little Boy went from drinking several glasses of milk a day to only having a little in his cereal from time to time.  I tried to call on my nationally ranked skills in FFA Dairy Judging to put my finger on the difference in flavor, but all I can really say is that the milk just tastes sort of…off.  It isn’t bad or impossible to drink, but it’s just not the same.  We were buying the stuff from the cooler section for a while, but after a few experiences of it going bad too quickly or even being sour right when I bought it, I decided to try some of the warm shelf options. Honestly, the kids like to drink the stuff from the non-refrigerated aisle much better than the ones in the cooler.    Those have been great so far – still a little different in flavor, but much more reliable and drinkable.  There is also always a huge variety of powdered milk boxes on the shelves.  Seems like a lot of people go for that instead of the fresh stuff. 

This is all powdered milk options

The cheese I've found so far has been decent.  You won’t find near the variety of cheeses in general, but it's easy to find the basic things you need.  Just as with the milk, there is sometimes a slightly off flavor to some of the local cheeses that you have to adjust to.  I've managed to find a few that are tasty in the Swiss and Cheddar department.  You do pay for it, though – cheese is definitely a top dollar item around here.  Except in the case of processed cheese, of which there is an abundance.  These cheeses all taste pretty similar to me and they are usually cheaper than the rest.  There is what we call American Cheese (sliced or burger cheese here), as well as several processed cheese snack products, akin to Laughing Cow cheese (actually called Happy Cow here).  Mozzarella has been a mystery so far, though.  We typically make pizza once a week.  I make a big batch of dough, we do a mixed bag of toppings – usually a few different pizzas with different options.  The first time we had pizza night I ran down to get some mozzarella from Keell’s.  When I opened up the package, both Ryan and I jumped back because it smelled really sour!  I couldn’t figure out if it was just a fluke or if all of the bags would be like that.  I tried another one a few weeks later, same story.  Fortunately for us, the Commissary in the Embassy typically has lots of shredded mozzarella, so we try to keep some in the freezer at all times.  But, a couple weeks ago I found fresh mozzarella balls, in water, at our Walmart like store while I was putzing around trying to come up with dinner ideas.  It was such a breath of fresh air.  Savannah claimed it tasted a little weird to her, but I think she was just being dramatic (can you imagine?).  It tasted just fine, if not even super delicious, to me! 

Cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, and sour cream, which are staples in my fridge normally, are nowhere to be found here.  Actually, that's a lie, I have found cottage cheese at one small market that comes from a local farm and it works, but it comes in a very small amount and is not quite the same.  The closest thing to Greek Yogurt I have found is Curd, or yogurt made from buffalo milk.  It’s passable for Greek Yogurt, with a slightly different flavor and a more gelatinous texture.  The kids like it, especially with a little honey and some bananas and raisins.  I also found sour cream and promptly scurried home, anxious to open it and find out what was inside.  But upon opening the container, I snapped back after discovering that the contents were literally “Sour. Cream.”  I was crushed.  Curd has taken the place of sour cream as well, for now, which has worked just fine in most cases. 

Meat

Buying meat is a bit of a different experience here in Colombo.  There are almost no pre-packaged fresh meat items - everything available is displayed in a clear meat cooler in bulk and then a store clear weighs and bags whatever you select.  There is usually a selection of Chicken (mostly bone in, skin off or on, whole legs, breast on bone, legs, thighs, or ground); Pork (chops, roast, or ground); Beef (top loin, chunks, and ground); Mutton (same cuts as beef mostly); Prawns; and a variety of local fresh fish.  You can also get random parts like livers, beef tongue and that sort of thing - that's not totally my bag, so I don't pay too much attention.  What you won't find at the grocery store is turkey (in any form), ham, and many cut varieties of pork or beef.  You won't find turkey anywhere - it just doesn't exist on this island, I think.  A devastating reality for our family.  Deli meat in general is hard to come by, with the exception of different variations made out of chicken.  I have tried some of these - one was a chicken/carrot sliced deli meat that was surprising and delicious.  And if you are promised ham as an ingredient out in a restaurant, chances are you will get a white or pink colored sliced meat called "chicken ham," that tastes mildly similar to ham, but is definitely not the same thing.  Specific cuts of meat can be found if you find an actual butcher who specializes in that sort of meat - which I have heard exists and intend to explore, particularly for beef roasts and pork shoulders.  Sometimes there can be a "local flavor" to the beef, much the same as with the dairy products (which seems pretty obvious), but I've heard these local specialty meat guys have stuff that's legit and delicious.  Otherwise, I tend to steer (haha) away from beef in many cases, with the exception of the ground variety which I have found to be delicious, especially when mixed 50/50 with ground pork for meatloaves, burgers, and meatballs. 

Vegetables

The produce section has been a little less of an adjustment, but the availability of many things I am

Long beans, manioc, lady fingers, & aubergines 

used to has been a learning curve of its own.  Certain things are available on a strictly seasonal basis, unlike in the States where many things can be found any time of year.  In the vegetable section, you can generally find the following things with regularity: Carrots, cucumbers, potatoes, zucchini, tomatoes, small red onions (no other color), garlic, lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, small eggplant, sweet potatoes (not yams), mushrooms, leeks, celery and herbs.  There are also several local vegetables inherent to the region that are available, like aubergines (cousin of the eggplant), lady fingers (long, large okra), manioc (yuca), curry leaves in many varieties, white radish, and several others.  There are also many things that you simply can’t find.  Spinach and kale (and most other greens) are often nonexistent in the regular grocery stores, which was a big change for me.  At home we eat a LOT of spinach and different leafy greens, so that was a sad loss.  I have found both spinach and kale at some markets and farm stands, but the flavor is much more earthy and bitter, so just not the same.  Also, I used to rely on frozen vegetables a lot at home, which is something you can’t find here at all, with the exception of peas and French fries. 

Fruit

Sri Lanka definitely loves its fruit. If you dine out for breakfast, there is always fresh juice and a plate of fresh local fruit involved.  Sri Lanka has a lot of local fruit: pineapple, mango, coconut, papaya, guava, passion fruit, watermelon, and almost 20 different kinds of bananas. They also have some you probably haven't heard of, like rambutans, woodapples, mangosteens,  soursop, jackfruit, and the infamous durian.  Berries are one thing you can’t really find, with the occasional exception of strawberries.  No lemons, either.  That’s been a hard shift for me – I never realized how much I relied on lemons until I couldn’t have them.  Limes are available, although they are tiny – akin to the size of a key lime.   

The bread selection has been a revelation for us.  Of course the stores have a selection of processed and pre-sliced bread loaves on the shelves.  But, they also have a section of local, freshly baked, unsliced loaves of bread that are amazing.  They have a few whole wheat options that are all super yummy, usually with flax seeds and oats dusting the top.  There are also a few delicious white breads that I get on a splurge from time to time.  They all make such delicious toast with some coconut oil and honey - yum!  Also, you can buy hamburger and hot dog buns individually or in pairs!  What a concept!  Only buy as many buns as you need for an occasion – this was all the things to me. 

Now all this said about the grocery stores, there are open air farmer’s markets and other specialty markets around.  Lots of them, actually, roadside style both inside and outside of the city.  These markets and stands will often have good quality produce you might not find in as plentiful a supply at the stores.  For instance, there is a local market down the road where you can get spinach and kale regularly.  I have heard they also have lots of other good quality fruits and veggies that you don’t always see in the stores.  I haven’t been yet, but have been wanting to go.  It’s the kind of thing I want to do sans children, so I can really focus and look around.  Those moments are not always easy to come by.  There is a great farmer's market on Saturdays nearby that has some good produce.  That same market has a storefront right across the street from where the farmer's market happens where you can get local stuff all week long - that's where I found the cottage cheese. 

Honestly, the differences between here and home haven't been so difficult to adjust to.  I find it’s a lot easier to resist temptations here.  There aren’t as many junk food options staring me down in the grocery stores – no rows upon rows of delicious and devilish crackers, chips, cookies and treats.  Lowering our dairy intake hasn’t hurt us in the least, as a matter of fact I’m a lot less likely to make a late night chocolate milk these days.  We drink a lot more tea and water and eat a lot more straightforward, cleaner foods.  Food is also so much cheaper here, in just about every single category.  Opposite to the States, fruits and veggies are the cheapest thing you can buy, while boxed goods are the more expensive items.  Exactly how it should be, in my opinion.  You can get a bag of apples, oranges, carrots, or whatever for around $1.50 or so.  I can get out of the store with 2 full bags of groceries, chock full of fresh produce, meat, eggs, bread and necessities and spend less than $30.  That almost never happens in the States.  

The farm stands and markets are even cheaper than the grocery stores, too!  I went on a little overnight trip to Kandy with a group from the Embassy right before Ryan left for several weeks.  Our driver knew of a huge Sunday market happening in his hometown on the way back, so we stopped in.  It was enormous and flooded with so many vendors selling everything you could think of.  There were sections for clothing, home goods, dried fish (very common in local markets here), prepackaged food items, and, of course, local fruits and vegetables.  I wanted to check out what was available and also needed some stuff to make dinner when I got home.  I could have spent all day there!  After much looking around and wandering amongst the vendors, I knew it was time to go and had to pick up some items before the van left me in the dust.  I settled on a huge bunch of spinach, a butternut squash, a bunch of turnips and a big bag of potatoes and onions for 500 Rupees (less than $3.50)! Try buying even one of those items for that amount in the States.  Seriously.  

Our access to the Embassy Commissary keeps us stocked well enough in the occasional treats we crave – a bag of chips here or a box of familiar crackers there.  They also occasionally open up an order to everyone so if there are things you want, you can order a case when they make their big order from the States or Australia.  I recently ordered a case of frozen spinach, frozen veggie mix, mozzarella, string cheese, and Italian sausage to fill in some of the gaps we had been feeling. The things we can’t live without, or at least that make our lives a little easier, like graham crackers, applesauce pouches, and Annie’s mac and cheese can be ordered from Amazon, which is an easy option.  Otherwise, I try to make our familiar standbys for dinner, like tacos, chicken pot pie, spaghetti Bolognese, and just about anything else you can think of.  It can be done if you have the gumption to make it work.  I have a crockpot to make applesauce and chicken stock and the internet full of recipe ideas when I feel at a loss.  I like the challenge of not being able to find an ingredient sometimes and being forced to shift the recipe a little because of it.  It keeps my brain working and life interesting.

Dining out has been a challenge in and of itself.  I have devoted an entire post of its own merit to this topic, because there is a lot to cover. 

To Be Continued…

Getting the Hang of Things

Sweaty but happy!

Our first few days and weeks in Colombo were spent with our heads craned and our eyes opened, looking in all directions.  We spent a lot of time trying to get out locally, to keep it simple and to explore in small bits.  Every day we expanded our circle a little wider, including something new each time we ventured out.  Oh, and about the heat – the one thing we didn’t know how to anticipate or how we would deal with.  I have to say, it hasn’t been as overwhelming as I thought it was going to be.  Honestly, I have been trying to recall exactly what summers felt like in Florida or South Carolina for comparison and, for some reason, I can’t remember this being worse than that.  At worst, it’s about the same and at best, this is a tinge better.  It’s definitely hot, don’t get me wrong, and the humidity some days feels incredibly heavy.  But the temperature gauge doesn't get nearly as high and the ocean breeze cuts through a lot, it you happen to be near the water.  I’d say one of the major differences between here and the Southland is that you can’t always rely on every indoor space being air conditioned here.  But the kids haven’t complained nearly as much as I expected and take the strong sun and heavy air in stride most of the time.  While walking down Galle Face Green – the long expanse of open park that can be seen clearly from our apartment – the breeze

View from Galle Face - our building is the white high rise on the left

from the ocean makes it feel almost enjoyable outside.  In almost any picture we show of the ocean from our place, Galle Face is the wide open space running alongside it, usually populated by a fair number of people.  In the late afternoons street vendors set up tents along the sidewalk, selling

street food, kites, glow sticks, and other fun kid centered items.  By dusk each day, and definitely more so on the weekends, it’s a popular place for people to bring their picnic blankets and kids to watch the sunset, throw a ball or fly a kite.  There is a strong ocean breeze that makes this an ideal place to fly kites – we have yet to do it, but believe me, it’s on the list. 

We have also tried to master the art of riding in Sri Lanka’s favorite and most ubiquitous mode of transportation, the tuk-tuk.  Essentially, these taxis are three wheeled scooters on metal frames with roof covers, a bench backseat and are the quickest and cheapest way to get around town.  There are no seatbelts or windows (except the windshield), but each one is different, like a snowflake.  I’ve seen some stark on embellishment while others are

decorated like an office space at Pixar – movie themed posters, inspirational seatcovers, religious hangings, party lighting and even burning incense.  Also, a little detail we picked up on quickly – every tuk driver has a super large drink holder installed on the bottom right door jamb equipped, exclusively, with a recycled alcohol bottle full of…water?  At first, we were skeptical.  But, as it turns out from talking to local friends, this is actually a thing here.  They said that they grew up reusing liquor and wine bottles as water storage containers and didn’t know it wasn’t a thing everywhere else.  Regardless, when you see an Absolut bottle full of clear liquid in your driver’s drink holder, it’s only natural to take pause.  Anyway, a typical ride in a tuk-tuk will run you somewhere between 50-200 rupees – that’s about .35-$1.30.  Oh yeah, and it will run you that much only if you insist on the driver using his meter or you are able to really negotiate your price with a non-meter using driver.  Partaking in the fare negotiation dance is a ritual as old as time and one done at your own risk.  In the beginning, we figured, “what’s the harm in letting the driver overcharge by 50-100 rupees? It’s just a quarter or two and who wants the hassel of talking them down?”  But, we were strongly discouraged by our local friends to avoid giving way on tuk fares and to insist upon the meter. We promptly changed our practice, but sometimes it’s just easier to let it go. 

A blurry shot of our 1st tuk ride, also at night!

In jumping into a tuk you also put upon yourself the thrill and peril that comes with riding in such a fashion.  The rules of the road here are certainly not what they are back in the States.  Drivers, particularly tuk drivers, work with what’s known as “windows-forward” driving rules.  Meaning, every driver is solely responsible for what happens in front of their vehicle and nowhere else.  So, although everyone has side view and rear view mirrors, no one is looking over their shoulder to make sure they aren’t cutting someone off.  In most cases, you probably are cutting someone off.  In fact, every driver uses their horn as a third, and often primary, directional signal.  And not in    

an annoying way, like we do in America.  It’s not people laying on their horns in an annoyed or disgruntled fashion; it’s more of a light and gentle single or double toot to say: 1) I’m coming up behind you, don’t pull out, 2) Hey, I’d like to get around you, 3) You’re veering into my lane, be careful or 4) Excuse me, get a move on or get out of my way.  It’s all fairly polite and a lot less stressful than you might imagine.  Lane usage rules are up for negotiation, as well, which is largely when you here the most horn usage.  Although there are clear, nicely painted lines in the road, lane sharing is not just accepted, it’s a general expectation.  One two lane side of a street could have 3-4 vehicles across at any given time, with tuk-tuks being able to fit two per lane if they are really trying.  And not just motorcycles and tuk-tuks participate, EVERYone lane shares, merging in and out of lanes as openings arise and with little warning, except for a light tap on the horn.  Buses are (literally) the biggest perpetrators of these acts, using their size and speed to take over whichever part of the road they would like – oh, and their horns are the worst.  They are the only ones who really lay on the horns, while their horns are, at the same time, incredibly loud.  Buses are the Courtney Love of Sri Lankan driving – loud, pushy, unpredictable, and a little bit reckless.  In our safety briefing at the Embassy, we were

strongly encouraged to avoid riding the bus around town, even though it might seem fun and easy.  They are more dangerous to ride on and, from what I have gathered in watching them, a bit hasty.  Bus stops are more like Cali roll throughs – you better be prepared to jump on or off, because the “stop” is more like a generous pause somewhere near the sidewalk. Wow, that Courtney Love analogy really plays all the way through. 

All this said, I have been surprised by the low number of traffic incidents I have seen while here, so far.  I can only think of one off the top of my head, up to this point, and it was barely a fender bender that I didn’t even witness, I just saw the two drivers discussing it calmly on the side of the road.  I know they happen, because I have heard stories from other people, but I spend a lot of time out and about and have yet to actually witness one or even the evidence of one.  To be perfectly honest, despite the lack of adherence to general rules of the road, very little use of signal lights, relaxed seatbelt laws and almost no stop lights, except for those at crosswalks, I can’t say that I have actually felt unsafe as a passenger in any car or tuk-tuk as of yet.  I know, you are probably thinking, “Well, Heather, you are so laid back and adaptable, of course you’re fine with it.  I’d be a wreck!”  But, that’s not it.  There is a decided lack of ego or road rage on the roads here in Sri Lanka, which, I think, makes all the difference.  Some of the stuff that I have seen go down, in the way of cutting others off, pulling out in front, and stopping dead in the lane, would probably make almost any American release their road Kraken.  Here, though, I have never seen anyone shake a first, flip a bird, scream an obscenity, or even sigh dramatically over these offences – they might offer a slight nod of the head.  That’s all.  It’s amazing.  I don’t know if it’s patience or Buddhist calm or simply a learned ambivalence to driving practices they have experienced their entire lives, but either way, it’s incredible to watch. 

Something else that has been interesting for us to watch and experience has been the way Sri Lanka has received our children.  I can’t remember where, but around the time we arrived here I was reading something that said that Sri Lankans are incredibly child-centric.  They love kids.  Children are treated with an incredibly high regard and their comfort is often put in high priority.  That would explain why we received such incredible service on our flight to Colombo from London.  Even restaurants here are not only incredibly tolerant of children, but are overly accommodating to them.  I’ve found a number of places that have separate play rooms attached to the dining area of the restaurant so that kids can play while adults eat.  There is even someone usually staffed to hang out in this play room to keep an eye on them – with no sign-in process or fee.  It’s just an amenity to the dining experience.  It’s awesome.  I can’t say that the restaurants attached to these play rooms are always the BEST food in Colombo, but it’s often passable enough to warrant the visit, if for no other reason than a manageable, quiet, drama free meal.  Can I get an “Amen?”

A crowd gathers to take pictures with our tiny celebrities

The caveat and sometimes fall back of this high regard for children, though, is the heightened amount of attention we draw from people when we go out and about in public.  The kids are show stoppers, a lot of the time, gaining viewership far and wide.  I have had people step in front of my moving stroller, stopping us in our tracks to say “hi” to the kids, ruffle their hair, stroke their cheeks and even take selfies with them.  It happens all the time!  Sometimes it’s only one or two people in passing and sometimes it’s entire crowds of people, depending on where we are. 

Actually, this one time I was in the grocery store buying vegetables, with Little Boy in the Ergo on my back.  He was just hanging out while I sorted through the tomatoes and a frazzled looking British woman approached me with horror on her face.  She had just witnessed a store employee walk by me, stroke his face, kiss his cheek and continue walking.  I, apparently too wrapped up in the tomatoes and already accustomed to this behavior anyway, didn’t take notice or react in any way.  She assumed I didn’t realize what had happened and rushed over to let me know my child was just handled by a stranger.  I assured her I noticed and it was fine, much to her shock and horror.  I chuckled a little and reassured her that it was fine.  I let her know it’s a common thing and we don’t mind, so long as the “handling” doesn’t get TOO invasive (obviously).  She relaxed a little when she realized I knew it was happening, but she started tentatively chuckling at the whole thing too. 

“I’ve never seen anything LIKE that before!  And he didn’t even flinch, he just smiled at her!  I just wanted to come and let you know it was happening!” was her response.

I laughed too and just told her, “Yeah, that’s a pretty normal response.  Although I’m surprised he didn’t blow kisses or say ‘Buh-bye’ like he usually does.” 

She walked away shaking her head and continuing to laugh, clearly baffled by the entire scene. 

I have to say, I was shocked at what cool customers the kids were with all of this, in the beginning.  I knew Kiddo would be fine with it – let’s be honest, she loves the spotlight.  But, I thought for sure Little Boy would be more apprehensive.  Nope!  He usually smiles, waves, blows kisses and says “Hello” and “Buh-Bye” like a regular little ham.  He’s definitely not as participatory as Kiddo, but he doesn’t run away, cry or freak out either.  I attribute the attention they get to the idea that, for some, seeing the kids is like spotting a baby unicorn in the wild.  They are small, beautiful, fair-skinned creatures that you just don’t see too many of in these parts.  You can’t even believe it’s there, so you have to take a picture so your friends will believe you.  A guy actually said to me, once, “I’ve just got to send this to my girlfriend, she’s going to flip.”  Apparently she’s really into unicorns, too.  My friend Michelle more accurately compared it to being a walking petting zoo.  She told me that one time an older woman insisted on taking off her kids’ shoes to examine the bottoms of their feet.  That was a new one, for sure, and definitely a little more in the “petting zoo” category than I’ve seen before.  The kids do know their boundaries, though, which I think is a good lesson from all of this.  I am always on guard whenever people stop to “pet” my children.  I have seen it get a little out of hand a time or two, which is when the Mama Bear in me swoops in, scoops them up, says “Thank you, have a nice day” and goes along my merry way.  If Kiddo isn’t in the mood to give a hug or take a picture, she will say “no” politely and we encourage her to do so, of course.  One time, walking on Galle Face Green a group of guys in their early 20’s got a little over excited taking pictures with the kids, wanting to hold them for pictures, take shots individually, then

together, then trading off.  The kids got over handled and began to politely protest.  I could see it happening and quickly put an end to it before they could get uncomfortable.  We debriefed about it on the way home, where I strongly encouraged Kiddo to not feel shy about standing up and saying, “Ok, I’m all done, thank you,” while also walking away, which is what she was doing when I swooped in.  I don’t mind the interaction; I actually think it’s good boundary practice.  I want them to feel comfortable with people in general, but develop a healthy understanding of what’s an invasion of space, where their boundaries are and how to voice their protest directly, but at least semi-politely.   These are practical and important skills, both abroad and stateside.

One of the unexpected, yet sweet things of all of this kiddo hypervigilance is access to the “village”

School Girls at a temple, requesting an audience with Kiddo

mentality of raising kids.  When people are constantly seeing and watching your children, this means there are also that many eyes actually seeing and watching your children in case something goes wrong.  I have had so many people interact with the kids because they wanted to make sure they were safe, happy and alright.  Often this happens if Kiddo is having a meltdown about something – usually the unsuspecting stranger thinks something is wrong and they can help, even though I’m often standing right there.  It’s sweet, but in the middle of meltdown maintenance, it’s not helpful to supply Kiddo with victim status.  Just saying.  It’s not just that, though, people also constantly reach their arms out, expecting Little Boy to topple over at any minute.  I’ve seen people run, full sprint, to help him get down stairs that he is not only more than capable of tackling, but is often insistent about doing without help.  As if, walking just inches away from him I might also be neglecting him by allowing him to do it himself.  In some ways the hypervigilance could be misconstrued as people thinking you aren’t capable as a parent; but, in a lot of other ways it’s sweet because it is always clear to me that the concern comes from a place of pure care and love, not judgement.  I appreciate that. 

For example, I was out to lunch with the kids by myself when, true to form, Kiddo insisted on going to the bathroom mere moments after the food arrived.  Something that happens all. The. Time.  Little Boy was ravenous and so excited at the sight of food, I was frustrated by her request because taking her meant I had to unstrap him from his chair and remove him from his lunch, to haul us all to the bathroom while our food got cold.  A table of women had come in after us, clearly on their lunch break from a local office, and had had their eye on our table since they arrived, cooing at the kids and giggling about how cute they were.  They overheard the situation and chimed in that they would be happy to keep an eye on Little Boy while he ate and I took Kiddo to the restroom.  It was one of those moments you have as a mom, where an offer is made that is just so tempting and all you want to do is say yes, even though you

know it’s wrong.  Now, honestly, I knew that these women were completely sincere and just wanted to help; however, the American in me said “definitely, no!”  I knew nothing would have happened, but graciously and appreciatively declined anyway.  That kind of thing has happened to me several times.  People are genuinely kind here in Sri Lanka, in many respects, but when it comes to children, it’s on a whole other level.  And I kind of dig that. 

We have really been enjoying getting familiar with our life here.  I have a lot to say when it comes to the food question, which I know a lot of people are curious about.  Because of that, I intend on devoting an entire entry to it.  There are a lot of nuances to dining in Sri Lanka as an American and a lot of areas to explore.  More on that later.  Otherwise, stay tuned for some of our recent escapades around the country and even abroad, as well!  TTFN!