30 Lessons, for 30 Days, to honor 30 years

In honor of my 30th birthday, I decided to take on a 30 day challenge of my own.  In the 30 days leading up to my birthday, each day I posted to Facebook one lesson that I have learned over the course of my life.  I wanted to share these lessons with everyone I know, love, and maybe haven't even met yet.  I will post them in chunks, but I wanted to get them on my blog so that if people missed one here or there, they can be easily found.  I hope you enjoy them and feel free to leave some of your own lessons for everyone to see! 

Lesson 30: Say thank you…and mean it

My mom taught me to say thank you when I was very little.  She told me that you should always say thank you, any time you can.  As I got older, I realized that not everyone says thank you as often as they should.  As someone who has worked in food service, education, customer service and as a nanny, the number of people who DON’T say thank you is a lot bigger than you might think.  It’s a small phrase that takes milliseconds to say, but makes a huge impact.  I say it whenever I can, when someone says “Bless You,” when a waitress refills my water (every time), when someone lets me merge in in traffic (with a wave, but I say the words in my car just as good practice).  For the number of times I’ve wished I had heard it, I remember to say it.  And it means just as much in these small situations as it does in those big moments when you should definitely be remembering to say it.  But you can’t just say it, you need to mean it, which is the hardest part.  Sometimes, on those tough days when even meeting another person’s eye is difficult, saying thank you is a daunting task.  But, I have learned that looking that cashier in the eye, when they too might be having the worst day, and saying thank you with a smile not only makes their day better as they smile back, but it immediately changes the direction on my day as well. 


Lesson 29: Celebrate the little things 

If there is one thing I have learned from living with a toddler, it is that celebrating the little things can really help boost your own daily morale.  I love seeing her give herself a round of applause for something like putting a stack of blocks together or finishing a book – a feat I seldom get to accomplish.  I don’t want her to ever lose that sense of accomplishment for her own personal triumphs, big or small.  I know, for myself, that getting caught up in the minutiae of day to day life, trying to tackle “to do” lists, putting checks in the boxes, making people happy, keeping it all together, etc., makes the feeling that I have accomplished anything productive at the end of the day seem impossible.  I would just fall into bed, downtrodden and relieved that the day was over, while also sighing about what is on tomorrow’s list instead of reveling in all the things I DID accomplish.  Now, though, if I just remember to stop for a few moments and celebrate, in some small way, anything that I happen to get accomplished, it really does lighten the load a bit and put a little motivated spring in my step.  I don’t feel so bogged down by my “to do” list, as I do feel motivated to see myself accomplish a small goal.  I guess it’s just a way of reframing your mind, but I have come to enjoy my little personal rounds of applause and mini dance parties.  A cocktail at the end of an exceptionally productive day never hurt either…
  

Lesson 28: Be kind. Do at least one act of unbargaining service each day

This is actually one of the 12 Woodcraft Laws that I learned many years ago.  There are a few more on my lessons list, for you TLers out there.  I didn’t fully appreciate this one back when I was 14 – I know, weird, right?  But, as the years wore on and I came back to the Laws, this one crept up on me.  I find myself thinking of it all the time.  It seems like  a no brainer, but how often does it happen that you see someone who needs something and, in that moment, you pass by because you figure “oh, they can get that” or “I just don’t have the time at the moment.”  But the key to this lesson is that the act must be unbargaining – there’s no return on this act, no benefit to you and just may make you go out of your way a bit.  I have found that the most unbargaining acts are for complete strangers – because there is no emotional tie “making” you do whatever it is that needs to be done.  I have one amazing example.  One day I was sitting at a red turn signal and across a 4 lane intersection an older gentleman on a motorized scooter was trying to cross the road on a “walk” light.  I happened to look over at him as he was making his way off the curb, noticing that he was crossing an exit ramp from the highway.  He got stuck on the curb with most of his scooter out in the lane, not able to back up or move forward with the light sure to turn green soon.  I wasn’t sure anyone else was paying attention and, despite the fact I was 4 lanes away, was seriously considering going to help him.  When all of a sudden a guy on the opposite side of the same exit ramp jumped out of his car, ran over and pushed him across the intersection into safety.  I breathed an audible sigh of relief and thanked whoever’s up there that there are still people out there willing to be kind, despite where they need to be or who might need the help.  That was unbargaining service at its best.  What killed me was that the people in the two cars inches/feet away from this, and probably watching through their windshield, didn’t even flinch.  I will be the first to admit, I don’t help every time I’m able, but it’s usually in circumstances a lot less dire.  I suppose it’s a flaw of the human condition, but one that you actively choose to pursue.  I’m working on it for myself, trying to be kind through both my words and my actions.  Some days it’s harder than others, but it’s ultimately an easy way to keep the positive energy circulating.