Like A Band of Gypsies...

If you know anything about our family, then you probably know that we love to travel.  We especially love a good road trip.  We have driven all over the continental United States and continue to dream up places we want to visit and trips we would like to take.  Well, what would our preparation for this grandiose trip overseas be without a lengthy road trip thrown in the middle?  Incomplete, that's what.  So, we decided to do one, you know, just for old time's sake. 

Once we left San Francisco, St. Louis became our new home base.  We flew in around midnight and were picked up by Ryan’s parents in their RV, so we would be able to fit all of us plus all of our baggage.  We stayed just one night so that we could pick up a car, prepare a few smaller bags and leave the majority of our luggage in St. Louis.

Even though Ryan had finished his programs and graduated from his schools, he still had some work related training and obligations ahead of him before we could leave the country.  First on the list was a 10-day training in Washington, DC that would teach him escape tactics, evasive maneuvers and hand to hand fighting skills in the event of a kidnapping or attack.  Honestly, this training sounded a lot more like fun than work.  He was definitely looking forward to it.

Mabel's BBQ!

While Ryan went to DC, I planned to take the kiddos to the Northeast to visit family and friends for a couple of weeks.  To save on airfare and car rentals, we decided borrowing a car from Ryan’s parents and driving to Albany was the most economical plan – plus, it gave us a chance to drive through a part of the country we hadn’t done yet, at least not together.  Ryan volunteered to drive with us for this part, instead of going straight to DC, so I could have a partner – thanks Babe!  We had to make it to Albany by 9 o’clock Sunday morning so that Ryan could get on his flight to DC.  We got a late start on Friday, so instead of making it all the way to Cleveland that night, like I planned, we only made it to Colombus.  But, that’s what’s awesome about us – we are super flexible, especially while road tripping.  Instead, we crashed for the night at a cool little hotel off the highway, grabbed some free continental breakfast and hopped back on the road for a much longer day in the car on Saturday.  We made a pit stop in Cleveland for lunch, because Ryan has a soft spot for BBQ and I have a soft spot for Michael Symon and I knew JUST the place to take him (road concierge is a job I take quite seriously).  Mabel’s BBQ was amazing!  After lunch, we continued on up the road.  We made a stop outside of Buffalo for bathroom breaks and snack related grocery shopping.  By the way, the kids did awesome on this journey.  We usually try to time our drives and breaks around nap and food times, so that we can maximize the number of miles we drive before the complaining begins.  Thanks to snacks, we were able to push our dinner stop until Syracuse around 9 PM, which was really our normal California dinner time anyway, and then the kids slept all the way to Albany, a little after 1 in the morning.  *Phew, we made it!

I have to admit, I was not prepared for how chilly it ended up being from St. Louis to Albany and then during our time Upstate.  Because my brain packed our suitcases for Sri Lanka, we were strongly lacking much in the way of warm clothes.  But, we layered and made it work.  Besides, I was so relieved for the brisk winds and weather, knowing that what waited for us overseas was a LOT of hot and steamy.  Another thing I was surprised by was how long it took my kids to adapt to East Coast time.  I don’t think it has ever taken as long as it did this time – I thought for sure the late flight in and the road trip would solve that.  But we were sleeping in until 9 or 9:30 every morning for several days!

Taking time to smell the flowers and blow the feathers

Thankfully, we were going to be spending our days just visiting and relaxing.  Well, that was the plan, anyway.  Once we left Ryan at the airport, the kids and I made our way to Petersburgh, NY where my mother’s (almost) entire family lives.  We stayed with my Aunt Laurie, whose house was always a second home to me growing up.  It’s a place I have found myself during many crossroad moments in my life and I suppose, for that reason, this stay had a certain poetic fluidity to it.  I was really looking forward to catching up with her over nice cups of tea and quiet afternoons.  While there, though, I also had 2 priorities: 1) get my mom set up with a new phone and internet and 2) to get my final vaccination for Japanese Encephalitis.  I had pretty clear plans set in motion for both of these items – but, alas, nothing ever seems to go the way I plan it the first time.  Instead of using most of my time for relaxing and visiting, I spent a lot of time making phone calls and driving around. 

Apparently, obtaining internet services in this particular town is no easy feat – especially where my mother is located.  I spent so many hours on the phone with every carrier you could think of, trying to isolate the address on the map to obtain service, but to no avail.  In the end, after days of work, I at least got her set up with a new phone, some more data and the ability to Skype, use Pinterest and explore Etsy.  Oh, and an email address.  I signed my mom up for her first ever email address.  Welcome to the new world Mom! 

As for the vaccination, that was no walk in the park either.  I had the forethought to get a hand written prescription for Japanese Encephalitis – a lesson I learned a month earlier when I tried to get the FIRST round of shots back in Monterey.  I already knew that there were limited military resources in the Albany area, but I thought if I had a prescription and some insurance I’d be able to get someone to take 3 minutes to stick a needle in my arm.  Turns out, that was not as easy a task as it sounds.  None of the local doctors would see me, because I wasn’t a patient of theirs and, I assume, they didn’t want to do the extra paperwork to see me, talk to Tricare and order the vaccine.  Then, none of the military related folks in the area could see me either.  One was an active duty only clinic, 2 were VA’s who could get the shots but wouldn’t see me, and the other gave me several different numbers that led me to a non-military related travel office who charged $100 to walk in, plus the cost of the vaccine and the appointment.  No thanks.  In the end, my only recourse was to drive 2.5 hours south to West Point, where I walked in, handed them my ID, got my vaccine and walked back out the door 7 minutes later to drive 2.5 hours back north.  That consumed almost an entire precious day that I would have rather spent with my loved ones.  But, at least I got the shot. 

The kids and I spent a lot of the rest of the week hanging out with my Mom – which simply does not happen enough.  It was such a treat to see her every day, spend time chit chatting and snacking on delicious things that she made for us.  Also, Kiddo loves to paint and craft, so when we are there it is such a joy to see them bond over that.  We also got to spend some time with her on Mother’s Day, which was even better!  I picked up some Jersey Mike’s, which is one of her (and my) absolute favorite things.  We had a feast and played with her new phone (which almost blew her mind).  As I drove away, as usually happens, I was left wishing I could pack her up and take her with us.  In that moment I resolved that I would make this blog happen, so that, at the very least, I could share these pieces of our journey with her and everyone else who is interested. 

Our Brood!

Despite the pain of leaving, though, we had to move on to our next stop – which, dare I say – I was equally excited to begin.  On Thursday we drove up to Saratoga Springs to stay with one of my besties Bridget.  She has 3 boys who Kiddo and Little Boy adore and we love spending time at their place when we are in town.  This was no ordinary visit, though.  Also joining us was Rachel (Bridget’s twin) and Kristen – two of my other favorite people in the whole universe.  Now, the four of us (plus our friend Sydny, who wasn’t able to make it :-( have been friends for somewhere near 25+ years.  We have all been friends since early grade school, they were all bridesmaids in my wedding and we try to get together once a year.  It’s hard and doesn’t always work – but we make a serious effort.  Friends like these gals don’t come along in every lifetime, so we work hard to stay connected.  Well, it was the 4 of us, Bridget’s husband (who was on call most of the weekend), and our 7 children under the age of 6 all living in the same house for 4 days. I know that sounds nuts, but it was amazing!  The kids had a blast playing together while we enjoyed cocktails and chatting.  It was the best.  I don’t even have adequate words for how good it felt to have us all together (minus Syd – we missed you!!)  It just felt like home in so many ways that I needed so much at the time.  Those ladies each carry a large chunk of my heart with them and I just feel so much more

whole when we are together.  We even got to spend a piece of Mother’s Day together, along with Rachel & Bridget’s parents and Kristen’s parents, who have all been adoptive parents to me for so many years.  It was all the things and I felt all the feels. 

From there, we moved on to my Dad’s family in Mechanicville – just a short drive away.  I am fortunate enough to have SO many people I love in such a small amount of space and am able to see a good number of them in a small window of time.  Originally I was going to spend more time here, but because of a shift in my timeline meeting up with Ryan, I only got one night.  But, I was happy to have at least that and got to see my Aunt Meg, Uncle Tony, Uncle Billy, & Aunt Cheryl for a short but sweet overnight visit. 

Memories of polishing silver and doing pulls

The next day, we pressed on westward, heading back to St. Louis at a much slower pace than we came, making an overnight pitstop in Ithaca, my alma mater.  I haven’t been back in 10 years and have been missing it so much, I couldn’t resist.  I was able to reconnect with a few of my all-time favorite professors as well as a couple of good friends I just don’t get to connect with enough.  It felt good to wander around the streets of Ithaca, stop in at Wegman’s, stroll around the campus at Ithaca College and feel all the feels I haven’t felt in a while.  I really love that place – it holds a lot of memories for me. It will always be one of my favorite places because it’s where I began shaping my life and where I achieved so many successes, both academically and personally.  I found so much of myself in my writing and my work there, but also found the resiliency I needed to know I could really tackle anything out on my own.  It felt good to breathe that air again and remind myself of those things – values I would definitely need in the coming months. 

On our way out of Ithaca, we stopped for lunch in Rochester, NY with another favorite, Emily.  It was such a treat to spend a few stolen hours with her, gabbing about everything we could gush in a few hour’s time, while also eating as much dessert as possible.  I think we succeeded!  We continued on, with Cleveland as our destination for the night.  You are probably wondering how the kiddos were doing with all of this driving and stopping – I have to say, they did a great job.  I really stuck to my schedule, stopping at similar times of the day, making the most out of quiet, sleepy times and getting to where we needed to be in a timely manner.  Kiddo was a huge help in the backseat, keeping Little Boy entertained when it seemed like he was getting antsy.  And snacks.  Lots and lots of snacks.  That is the key to road trip survival. 

They're both out!  Yes!

I know this post is a long one, but bear with me for a hilarious aside.  During our drive to Rochester, the kiddos both fell asleep.  It was mid-morning, so this was a norm for Little Boy, but I was surprised by Kiddo's cat nap.  Anyway, trying to keep myself entertained in the front seat, I turned on Pandora.  I was singing along, when Adele's "Hello" came on.  I almost skipped it, because I needed something a little more peppy, but something made me leave it on.  Now, bear in mind, Kiddo is out cold in the backseat.  I was humming along with the first verse, taking in the beauty of central NY when the chorus began.  All of a sudden, from the backseat, eyes still closed and mostly asleep, came the sound of Kiddo's voice, belting out those plaintive lyrics at the top of her little lungs - right on key.  I almost swerved off the road, because it both startled and shocked me with the hilarity of it.  She snapped her head up from where it was resting, just long enough to sing out the full chorus, then laid back down - almost as if she were a little robot who only wakes up at the sound of the words "Hello from the other side."  I tried to video it for the next chorus (which she snapped back up to sing, still asleep), but turning the video on turned the Pandora off.  So, I cursed under my breath and turned the song back on, devastated that I had missed out on this highly YouTube-able moment.  I laughed for about 10 miles about that.  She laid her head back down and slept for another 45 minutes. 

We made a quiet overnight pit stop in Cleveland, had some breakfast and got on the road early.  This day, our goal was Chicago, where Ryan’s Aunt Suz, Uncle Bernie, and cousins Nick and Morgan live.  I was really excited about this stop as well.  This was a late development in the plan.  You see, while the kids and I had been traipsing around New York, Ryan had done his 10-day training and then flew back to Monterey for a couple of days to wrap things up, check out and pick up our government passports and visas.  Unfortunately, those hadn’t arrived yet.  So, at first, Ryan thought he was going to be stuck there until they arrived – a timeline which was not foretold.  Eventually, though, he was able to get out of there and, instead of flying back to STL, he found a much cheaper flight into Chicago, where he could meet up with me, visit his family and then we could drive back together – Bonus!

Swimming with Aunt Suz!

The kids and I made it to Chicago on Thursday afternoon.  Ryan wasn’t able to meet up with us until Saturday morning, so that gave the kids and me a much needed opportunity to rest, take a break from the road, and relax with family.  We got some deep dish pizza from Giordano’s, kicked our heels up and enjoyed the view from the 40th floor.  Suz is ever the exceptional hostess and coordinated with her friend Sarah, a few floors below, to hook us up with some kiddo essentials.  Then, while we were there, Sarah invited us down to pick out some toys and princess dresses from her amazing stash – Kiddo was over the moon.  She became immediate besties with Miss Sarah, as well as her granddaughters with whom we had a swim and tea party date the next day.  It was fabulous!  We drank some wine, the girls had a tea party, everyone had a smashing good time.  Then, Saturday morning, Ryan flew in just in time for breakfast.  Kiddo was already downstairs playing with her new friends and preparing for her first ever nail salon experience.  Eventually we had to pack up, though, and head on our merry way back to St. Louis.  It was hard to pry Kiddo away – but we managed it once she realized we were headed back to see Grandma Jan. 

I tell you what, it is always the last leg of any road trip that is the worst.  Not that the drive was bad or exceptional in any way – just that we were all so ready to be there and no matter how long the drive – 1 hour or 5 – it always feels like 10 days.  We made it, though.  Just in time for some St. Louis style pizza from Imo’s and a nice, long, restful sleep with the promise of no road travel for at least a little while. 

Phew!  I’m tired just writing about that road trip!  It was quite a haul, but I am so grateful we were able to do it and see as many people as we did.  People – family and friends – are so important to us.  Ryan and I have been so blessed to have met so many wonderful people in our travels and military stations, people who have changed our lives and become some of our closest friends.  But, we are also blessed with a wonderful and widespread family that we love so dearly.  There is never enough time to spend with each person and I am always so sad when the visit ends – as it must.  This particular trip was a whirlwind, for sure.  But there was so much love and laughter swirling around us, that I barely noticed the speed at which we were spinning.  I’m sorry if you are reading this and we didn’t get very much time, or even any, to spend with you.  It wasn’t for lack of trying – I promise!  If you can believe it, there were people and places I still wanted to fit in during this trip, but just ran out of time and space.  Alas, we still have much more travel to come.  So, until next time!

Are You Ready For This? Part 2

So, to pick up where we left off, moving overseas with the military sounds like a fun and exciting endeavor, but it has its demons too.  As described in the previous post, there were a lot of hoops that Ryan and I had to jump through in order to prepare for our move to Sri Lanka.  On top of all of these hoops, there is also the deed of organizing, separating and packing a house for this kind of move. 

When you move with the military, you have the benefit of a team of people who come in to pack up all of your stuff for you, which, to me, eliminates the worst part of the moving process.  Going through each room, wrapping and packing all of the millions of knick knacks, toys, dishes, kitchen appliances, etc is such a pain in the neck.  Especially when you have littles that want to unpack and investigate everything you are working on.  And then there are the junk drawers.  Oh, those terrible, no good, very bad junk drawers.  The bane of anyone’s existence during a move.  That’s the box you never want to open, because it was the last drawer you packed when you lost all your packing mojo, surrendered all cares and just up ended the damn thing, dumping it straight into a box with no ceremony or sorting permitted.  We’ve all done it.  And then had to live with the repercussions on the other end, having to sort through the random tiny pieces of whatever ended up in that box.  So, Junk drawers: good idea in theory, terrible reality during the moving process.

ANYway, having people come in and pack up your stuff is pretty awesome.  But, when you rely on this service, you have to know one thing: there is no such thing as a free lunch.  If you want to make sure that things end up in boxes with other things that make sense together, you need to do the work and organize so that your life on the other end of the move isn’t a complete circus.  Movers and packers give literally zero f*%&s about what stuff is in what room and where you want it to go.  They move like Hoover vacuum robots, rolling through and grabbing, wrapping and boxing without any thought toward organization.  Their job is to just get it done, not worry about what goes in what box. 

When we lived in Pensacola, for instance, we had our first experience with a moving team.  We went through our house the day before and put all of the stuff we were keeping with us in our bedroom and shut the door.  We thought this was a sensible system and, in many ways, it was.  That is, until the guys came in and started packing right inside the front door instead of the back of the house, where I expected them to start.  I organized from the back to the front, thinking I would have time to finish working on things in the front while they packed up the back.  I walked in the front door to find the guys mindlessly packing up things I hadn't separated yet, like papers and forms we had strewn about the dining room table still needing submission before we moved. They were also in the midst of packing the shoes from our door mat, including Ryan’s work boots, lined up inside the front door waiting for their next use.  I mistakenly assumed they would look at things as they packed them, considering, like I would, whether or not it should go in a box.  Obviously, that's not their job, nor should it be.  That was MY job before they arrived and, unfortunately, there was no tutorial on how to prepare for a move of this nature.  I had to rapidly reconfigure what I thought I knew about these movers as I started ripping items out of the boxes they were innocently packing while simultaneously scanning the room for other items I hadn’t thought to separate out – like my students’ work that I was in the middle of grading and dishes from breakfast that were still out and unclean.  All of these things would have been mindlessly packed if I hadn’t noticed them, all because I didn’t know better and it isn’t the job of the packers to know what stays out and what goes in.  They just wrap and pack; wrap and pack; wrap and pack; repeat.

So, take that need to organize, and multiply it by 4, because that is how many sets of movers we had coming to our house over the course of a week or so.  Oh yeah, and they wanted our stuff separated 3 WEEKS ahead of time for their walk through, so that they could get an idea of how many boxes to bring for each set of movers.  I don’t know about you, but :

A) I don’t have 3 extra rooms in my house in which to store items so that my kids don’t tear everything I organize to shreds

and

B) I certainly can’t be separating things into separate rooms 3 weeks ahead of time when I need all of these things to continue living my life. 

Who has time, space and patience for this request?  Not me.  Needless to say, when they came to walk through our house, we did not have anything separated.  The best I could do was make a detailed list of everything that was going to be included in each pack up so that they could guesstimate their boxes and supplies.  The guy seemed mildly irritated, but I have trouble believing that he often comes across families that are able to meet these requests.  I have to imagine, more often than not, that people are as (un)prepared as we were for this inspection and, given that, maybe they should change the format/expectation.  Just saying.

So, our move was set up like this: 8 days before we were set to leave Monterey, the first set of movers arrived to pack up everything that was going into storage for the duration of our move overseas.  My sorting and organizing game has come a long way since Pensacola, so, I was able to empty and section off rooms a day or so ahead of time to store everything that was coming with us.  This helped a lot.  It also helped that my mother-in-law was visiting for the duration of this process to keep the kids occupied and out of the house while I took apart furniture, continued to organize around the packers and monitored what was being wrapped and packed.  You definitely get more adept at all of these things the more moves you do, that’s for sure.  These movers started on Wednesday, finished on Friday and took about 75% of everything we own.  We were not bringing any furniture or major items with us, so they really cleared out a lot of space, making it much easier for us to take the weekend to separate the other 3 shipments into clear piles. 

Oh yes, and I might add that I lost my wingman on Thursday for the entire weekend.  He flew to Philly for the funeral of one of our close friends killed in the Marine helicopter crash in Hawaii a few months prior.  Obviously I did not begrudge him this trip at all; I was actually devastated I couldn’t go along, however, this did leave me to sort the rest of our things and begin cleaning the house without him.  This was the same night as the cats' lost flight reservation, if you recall from the previous post.  So, yes.  I did stop at In-N-Out for a milkshake at midnight on my way home from the airport fiasco, because I deserved the damn thing.   And yes.  It was delicious.

Strawberry/Vanilla - Hello, Beautiful.

This brings us to Monday before departing Monterey, the next set of movers arrived to pack up the other 3 shipments: Express (a small shipment of essentials, scheduled to arrive 30 days post pack-up); Household Goods (a larger shipment, usually containing any large items, scheduled to arrive 45-60 days post pack-up); and Consumables (all of the food/house related items we bought at Costco prior to leaving, also scheduled to arrive 45-60 days post pack-up).  This was all completed in just one day, instead of the 2 that were scheduled.  Since it was all being done by the same guys (different from our storage packers) and the amounts were relatively small, they were able to knock it all out in one day like the champions they were.  This gave me one whole extra day to clean!  Which, as you may know, you need all the hours, minutes, and seconds you can get – so, woot!

All was going according to plan and, despite our extreme exhaustion towards the end of this process, we were really lining up to finish on time.  We officially moved into the hotel at NPS on Monday night after having spent the weekend sleeping on cots in our almost empty house.  There was nothing left but packing the bags that would travel with us on the airplane and cleaning the house.  That was, until I woke up in a cold sweat, early on Wednesday morning, realizing I had no idea where our passports were.  Strike that, I knew where they had been and I knew that I didn’t remember seeing them in that spot before I left the house late Tuesday night after having gone back to spend a few extra hours cleaning walls, baseboards and floors. 

T-minus 28 hours before we were scheduled to drive out of Monterey for good, we raced over to the house and tore the place apart.  But as we searched, I just knew.  I had that sick, knowing feeling in my gut.  That feeling you get when you continue to look for something even though you know it isn’t there.  When you know you have a good idea exactly where it is instead.  And yes friends, it was true.  Our passports had been accidentally packed up and boxed by our movers.  Of course!  We called them immediately and, fortunately, they had not shipped our containers yet.  Unfortunately, though, Ryan had to miss his graduation in order to drive up to the facility, where he and another guy started pulling open crates and cutting open boxes looking for the black and white file folio that housed our passports, birth certificates, social security cards and immunization records.  We still have no idea how it got from the safe place I set it and the pile of clothes in which it was found, but I have a feeling it was a combination of little hands and gravity.  Just a notion.

Needless to say, we got them back and, by some miracle, Ryan only had to open 3 or 4 boxes to find them.  They could have been in any one of about 100 boxes, but he managed to find them in a box he almost didn’t open because it was labeled "clothing."  Thank goodness for small miracles.  He made it back just in time for our walk through with the property management company, while I was still clearing out the fridge and keeping the kiddos handprints off the windows and fingers out of our packed bags.  I was really wishing for a clone right about then.  Which reminds me, thank God for Grandma Jan.  Did I say that yet?  Because I should have.  At least a dozen times by now.  She really saved our tails helping, not only with the kiddos, but with the cleaning and readying of our house as well.  We had driven her to the airport the night before this whole passport searching/refrigerator clearing/property management walk through chaos went down.  I was missing her so much in that moment.  She’s a saint, that one.

Oh, and speaking of saints, let me also mention, in the same breath, our friends the Attigs, without whom we might never have made it out on time.  The Attigs, who we lovingly refer to as "The Jesse's," (due to the fact that they share the same first name), have been friends of ours for many years.  We met them at the beginning of our Marine Corps life and became close friends during our time in Pensacola.  They were coincidentally stationed in Monterey as well, arriving about a year after we did, allowing us to reconnect after living on opposite sides of the country for 6 years.  In our last few days they, as always, jumped right in to help us out.  They cooked us dinner after we moved into the hotel to save us a night out and took a lot of pantry and fridge items off our hands that we weren't able to donate.  Then, in an 11th hour save, Big Jesse arrived about 20 minutes before our walkthrough with property management and picked up a suburban's worth of trash, recyclables and extra items to take to the dump.  Because Ryan had to take our car an hour north to retrieve our passports, we weren't able to do a final dump run.  Jesse swooped in and saved us - I definitely owe them a 5 course home cooked meal when we meet up again.  You can bet on it!

8 checked bags, 5 carry-ons & 2 kids

I will fast forward through all of the other cleaning, walking through and driving away bits.  Just know it was a tornado of throwing things away, last minute scrubbing and shoving random items into random pockets of suitcases on our way to the airport that day.  Somehow we made it out of Monterey exactly at the time we wanted to and then had to drive 2 hours north to San Francisco airport to fly back to St. Louis for the next phase of this crazy journey.  On our way to the airport, Ryan and I both commented on how normal it seemed to be making that drive, even though it was anything but that.  It was our last drive out of Monterey as a family and our final farewell to this place that we had come to love so very much.  It felt so normal because we had done that airport drive so many times before, but that kind of robbed us of that notion of finality you often get when you drive away from a place for the last time.  I’m kind of glad for that, though.  I have a lot of trouble with goodbyes and I didn’t want my farewell to Monterey to be a blubbering, tear stained mess like all my other goodbyes.  We found so much beauty and adventure during our fantastic life there for almost 3 whole years.  We were #blessed to have so much time in such a wonderful place and, since Griffin was born there, it will always be so close to my heart.  It was a shame that we had to leave in a flurry of chaotic madness, but, honestly, I’m glad I didn’t have too much time to dwell on it.  Monterey and I have an understanding – that wasn’t goodbye forever, it was simply so long, until we meet again.  Because, by golly, we will.

Are You Ready For This? Part 1

“Are you ready?”  That is the one question everyone has been asking whenever Ryan or I tell them about our move to South Asia.  I don’t know about you, but can anyone every truly be ready for a complete life flip like a move to South Asia with kiddos?  We have been prepping for this move for, I don’t know, maybe 6 solid months now and the one thing I have figured out is, no matter how much prep we do, I don’t think we will EVER be truly ready to move to South Asia.  It’s only a year – yes.  A year is a short amount of time and I already know that the time is going to practically give us whiplash for how fast it’s going to fly.  But just because it is going to fly fast and be awesome doesn’t make us any more “ready” than if we knew nothing at all and were going for an indefinite period of time. 

What exactly does make one “ready” to move to South Asia, you might ask?  Well, there were a lot of little steps that we had to start taking many months ago in order to start preparing.  I’d say after Christmas is when we really kicked it into gear.  The first step was making sure we all had our blue civilian passports.  Ryan already had his squared away, since he has traveled out of the country many times before.  But this was a first for the rest of us.  Even I never had a passport, because the most I had ever been out of the country was to go to Canada – and that was before they started making everyone provide a passport to get in and out.  Back when we used to go, you pretty much just had to tell them where you were headed and for how long.  Le sigh.  ‘Dem’s was the days.  Anyway, Kiddo and I had received our passports in the mail earlier in the year.  We had planned to try a military flight abroad for our Spring Break vacation last year and so, thus had submitted the applications last January.  When we went to submit the applications, however, they couldn’t file Little Boy’s because we didn’t have his correct birth certificate.  Go figure.  Thus began the winding road of all the hoops we would have to jump through in order to get this train in motion.  We cancelled our overseas plans at that time, went for a Southern road trip instead and put off Little Boy’s passport until later.

This past January, we began submitting the paperwork for our brown offical government passports.  We need these in order to travel officially, particularly to Sri Lanka where we will be living.  We also needed these in order to apply for our long term visas through Ryan’s school, NPS.  Normally, I would be the one keeping up with all of the paperwork, applications, deadlines and steps.  I love that kind of stuff.  Unfortunately for Ryan, since this is his school, job and schtick, he has pretty much borne the brunt of these tasks.  So, on top of his endless amounts of school work and time in actual class, he had to find time to fill out these forms and make appointments to submit them.  It was definitely frustrating and challenging at times, but he made it all work and always pulled it off in time.

Aside from passports and visas, there was also a myriad medical boxes that we all had to check in order to be ready to set off on this journey.  This was definitely my department.  The kids and I had to have physicals and check-ups, dental clearances and overseas vaccinations.  This was a job in and of itself, having to set up the appointments around school, nap times, various out of town excursions we took along the way and visitors we had coming into town to see us before we left.  Kiddo had her first ever dental checkup, which went way better than I anticipated.  Little Boy also had to have a kind of checkup, even though, at the time, he only had about one and a half teeth to speak of.  This didn't stop him from being pretty excited about the new tooth brush, which I think just equated to something new and fun for him to stick in his mouth.  I, on the other hand, had many more hoops to jump through in this department.  Having gotten braces on last February, I also had to tack on orthodontic check-ups and adjustments to this time line.  I was trying to straighten my teeth out in a lot shorter time span than the orthodontist had figured.  On top of that, I have the worst hybrid of my parents’ teeth and needed a bunch of dental work in addition to everything else.  A couple of crowns, plus all of the ins and outs at the orthodontist it takes in order to get that work done in the first place.  Medical and dental appointments started to take over our lives.

This isn’t even to speak of the vaccinations.  Now, fortunately, we didn’t need TOO many.  The kids already had a few of theirs taken care of simply by normal vaccination requirements.  Hepatitis A
and B were already underway or finished.  So, all they needed was Typhoid and Japanese Encephalitis.  Typhoid is a one-time deal, but Japanese Encephalitis had two rounds, which had to be administered at least 28 days apart.  During my physical I had some blood work done to see what I needed – I didn’t have a record of the shots I had during my school days.  Any record of that is LONG gone.  Turns out, I needed Hepatitis A, plus the 2 others.  The kids were very simple to take care of – the clinic where they are seen for their checkups is run by the Army and the school that Ryan goes to, so they took care of everything.  My shots, on the other hand were not quite so simple.  There is no military hospital or health clinic for military dependents in Monterey – which seems odd, since there are 2 military schools and LOTS of dependents there – but, there you have it.  Getting pregnant with Little Boy was the first medical attention I needed while in Monterey, so I really only saw my OB, who was up in Santa Cruz about 45 minutes away.  I had Little Boy via VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean), a procedure they do not support in the local hospitals.  Since I was determined to have a VBAC this time around, I had to find a hospital who would support that and so I did – in Santa Cruz.  Since having Little Boy, I still have not needed any medical attention other than OB checkups, so I just had that doctor do my physical and prescribe my vaccinations.  This all sounds pretty simple, but once you add in Tricare and Army Health Clinic style red tape it begins to get pretty messy.  Needless to say, it took many weeks, phone calls, appointments, trips to Santa Cruz and orchestration of other details in order for me to get my 4 vaccinations.  If you could have seen our family calendar for Feburary, March and April you would have shivered at the number of scheduled events. 

So, passports, visas, medical, dental and vaccinations.  Is that all you ask?  NOOOO, that is not all!  We also had to find temporary homes for all 3 of our cats!  Believe me when I tell you that this unexpectedly became a bigger hassle than almost all of the rest of it.  Two of our cats went to my mother in New York.  For that, we had to fly them from Monterey to Albany where they would set up shop with my mother for the next year.  I managed to book them on a flight for the same night Ryan was also flying back East to attend a funeral for our friend, Brian.  I dropped him off in San Jose first, then continued on to San Francisco with the two cats.  This all happened, by the way, in the middle of when our movers were packing up our house.  When it rains it pours, as they say.  I came to find out that the airline lost their reservation.  So, when I arrived at San Francisco Airport's Cargo Bay at 10 o’clock at night, 2 hours from my house, with my 2 cats in carriers with all of their paperwork, shot records, et al, I was a little miffed to find this out.  They were about to close the cargo bay for the night with nothing but a shrug of the shoulders and a "sorry, better luck next time."  But, before surrendering I was able to get customer service on the line and the lovely Deena from American Airlines saved the day and my ass and got them on the flight they were meant to be on.  Thank you Deena. 

Our other cat, Solomon (aka Buddy) went to stay with my girl Melissa in San Diego.  Buddy seemed like the least likely candidate for issues, even though he is 15 years old.  We had spent quite a bit of time getting him squared away medically and all seemed well, especially since he is a laid back cat who has loved only food, petting and sleep since the day we met him.  Then, about 2 weeks after he arrived in San Diego, we came to find out that he had Type 2 Diabetes (which, of course, did not show up in the vet visits we had paid over the previous year) and needed a full range of medical care in order to get him stabilized and squared away.  My poor friend Meli took on that task, God bless her, because of the huge spot in her heart she has for that darn cat, despite the fact that she was in the middle of her own move.  She and her new husband had just purchased their first house and were in the process of closing and moving when this all took place.  She did all of this, on top of running her own business as an Esthetician and attending school to be a Holistic Health Practitioner.  She’s a saint and I’m grateful for her patience and friendship.  But this definitely added a lot of stress and strife to the tail end of our pack out in Monterey.  Which is To Be Continued...

You're Going Where?!

Well kids, we have come to that time.  Blog time!  I know, I know – Heather, why in the world did you ever stop?  Well friends, kids happened.  And as many of you can probably appreciate, when the kids happen, seldom does much else happen.  I decided that since we are about to embark on a pretty epic experience, the radio silence in blog land could stand no more!  There are so many people that we care about and not enough hours in the day to tell each one of them individually about every experience we have along the way.  So, it’s time to dive back in!  We are on the precipice of a very busy, life altering move to South Asia and, aside from the benefits of keeping everyone in the loop, it seems like the best possible way to keep our own diary of our travels for posterity.  So it begins…

Let’s start at the very beginning; which is a very good place to start, according to Julie Andrews, among others.  Just for those who may not know anything about what’s going on, or are jumping into this in the middle, some information for you: we are a military family – my husband, Ryan, is in the Marine Corps.  His job has required us to move to new and exciting places, like Enid Oklahoma; Pensacola, Florida; and San Diego, California, to name a few.  It also has required him to learn, train and do a variety of crazy jobs.  When we met, he was in Officer Candidate School, preparing for a life in the Marine Corps.  Next was flight school, followed directly by helicopter training.  As a pilot, he flew the prestigious CH-46 Battle Phrog for the World Famous Purple Foxes.  During that time, he did 2 deployments overseas while I held down the fort in San Diego - the first time by myself and the second time with our 1 year old daughter, who we will call Kiddo here.  As much fun as we had during our time with the Purple Foxes, we knew it wouldn’t last forever – as nothing does in the military.  The Phrog was set to retire and our squadron was one of the next on the list for transition.  Ryan had a decision to make: move on to a new aircraft or try a tour doing something new, also called a B Billet, for a while. 

During the second deployment, we found out that Ryan had been selected for the Foreign Affairs Officer (FAO) training program.  I remember receiving that phone call around the end of January 2012.  He had applied after he left for deployment in September and we had been waiting to hear if he had not only been accepted, but also to what area of the world we would be sent if we were selected.  This program was one of two to which Ryan had applied, both of which would likely send our whole family overseas for the next tour.  Ultimately, as tends to happen in the military, you are afforded an opinion that may or may not ever be considered – so, of course, each applicant was required to submit his or her top 3 choices for language learning.  Ryan requested a placement somewhere in the world that spoke either Spanish, French or Russian.  He knows some Spanish, I know some French, and Russian seemed like a useful and interesting third option.  So, picture me dreaming up afternoons eating croissants in French cafés or enjoying late night tapas and wine in some dark basement restaurant in Seville.  It’s hard not to dream a bit, so who could blame me? 

A little something like this...

Imagine my surprise when Ryan called me that January and told me that he had been selected for the Hindi program in South Asia!   You could say that I was a little caught off guard.  Now, I have learned in my time as a Marine Corps spouse that making plans is typically a fool’s errand.  Nine times out of ten, any plan you make will be foiled by the powers that be.  It’s just the way it goes.  So, I should have known better.  I mean, Samosas and Chicken Curry in New Delhi wasn’t even a blip on my daydreaming radar.  Needless to say, it took a little time for this news to truly settle in as a possible reality.  Honestly, in the weeks after he broke the news, I kept waiting for Ryan to call back and say that he was Punking me all along or that they had changed their minds and they needed us to stay stateside.  None of that happened.  We were moving to Monterey, California for 3 years post deployment, followed directly by a move to South Asia for a full year.  That. Was. Happening.

Now, on to the business details - here’s how the FAO program works: The first step was a move to Monterey, California for about 3 years where, for a year and half, Ryan attended the Naval Postgraduate School (NPS) and earned a master’s degree in National Security.  This was followed directly by step two: another year or so at the Defense Language Institute (DLI) to learn to speak Hindi.  I might add, although it sounds like a plush situation to be required and paid to learn a language, it was no easy task.  Learning Hindi in just a year meant Ryan was in class 5 days a week, 8 or so hours a day for an entire year, plus homework and study time.  With very few breaks in the yearly schedule, it was quite a feat.  Once finished with both of those programs, he was required to take a Standardized test called the DLPT – Defense Language Practical Test.  Scores on this test determine whether he is able to collect his master’s degree and if he has successfully completed the program.  He is required to take this test every year for the duration of his time in the military to establish that he is maintaining his language skills, regardless of whether or not he is working in a job that utilizes those skills. Once he passes the test and earns his degrees, it is off to South Asia for all of us to spend one year in what is called an “immersion experience.”  For most FAOs, this is a chance to live in country, among the culture that has been studied and speak the language that they have tirelessly worked to master in order to cement their knowledge.

The countries of South Asia - Our new home!

It is important to know that the FAO program is based around regions, not languages.  Our family is not actually going to live in a country that speaks Hindi.  Because of the regional focus, Ryan is actually responsible for learning about all of the countries in his assigned region – our region being South Asia.  Our goal, then, is to set up a home base in one of the countries, then travel between that home base and all of the other places over the course of the year, meeting the locals, learning and observing the culture and using the language which Ryan has acquired, as organically as possible.  In many regions, the language you learn is often that which you would speak in a lot of the region in which you travel.  In South Asia, though, because India is the most populous country, Hindi is considered the predominant language; however, it is not spoken in most of the rest of the region, which includes Nepal, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Bhutan, and the Maldives.  (Pakistan and Afghanistan are pretty much no travel zones, so don't worry about us going there).  So, Ryan will be able to use his language in his several trips to India and probably in Nepal, but as for the rest of it?  We will rely largely on the availability of English speakers in our travels, which shouldn’t be too difficult, since English is also a predominate language in a lot of South Asian countries. 

Originally, when we were assigned South Asia, we were told that we would be living in India.  We were both excited and nervous about that prospect.  Travel would definitely be cheaper around India, with the availability of trains helping us to avoid some air travel, making family travel a little easier.  But the culture shock that awaited us in the throngs of people and overcrowded cities seemed a little daunting, to say the least.  A few months into the program, though, we heard that moving to India didn’t seem possible.  Apparently, the last 6 or 7 families to make this journey had been sent to live in Muscat, Oman, because of some issues in solidifying long term visas for the Marines.  So, Oman, here we come, right?  Well, for a little while that was the story, which was just as exciting as going to India!  We heard it was a beautiful and tropical spot, within driving distance of Dubai (cool!), plus we would have the benefit of the 7 previous families’ experiences to bolster our knowledge of the area.  Well, that rug, too, was pulled out from under us.  The South Asia department had been wanting to open up a FAO station in Sri Lanka, which is located off the southern tip of India and now seemed like as good a time as any to do that.  So, goodbye to any familiarity or on site connections; Hello brand new country about which no one had much information.  Colombo, Sri Lanka became our new destination and our new subject of research. 

After the initial shock, we were actually pretty excited.  I mean, how many people get to say that their job is to move across the world for a year of travel?  Not many, I believe.  So, of course we were stoked!  But Sri Lanka is a world away from everything we know and to say that it wasn’t daunting to think of packing up our littles to move there would be a lie.  People keep asking us if we are nervous or anxious or scared.  We are on the precipice of this move and honestly, it still feels completely surreal.  Almost as if it is happening to someone else and we are just responsible for telling the story.  Hell, until we are actually standing on the sidewalk of the airport, feeling the suffocating heat of Colombo, Sri Lanka penetrating our skin, I don’t know that it will feel real to the four of us!  No matter how many times I have had to explain to someone where we are going and why, it doesn’t seem to get any more plausible or tangible.  That day is coming, though, friends.  It’s coming very soon.  But more on that later.  What follows is an account of our preparations, travels and experiences in this crazy overseas adventure.  Follow along, ask questions, send advice and above all, enjoy all that follows as we journey on!  Full speed ahead!

Thrift Book Reverie

** I wrote this post about 6 months ago, but rediscovered it while filing through some of my unfinished pieces.  It felt really applicable to the way I've been feeling lately, so here it is. **

It’s funny the way things get under your skin.  And not in the way that you think, where you feel irritated by it or mad; more in a way that you feel energized in such a way that you can’t stop thinking about it.  Do you ever find yourself in a place, surrounded by an energy that just motivates you to do something?  Maybe the Olympics does it for you, motivating you in the start of the year to keep focused on that new goal you've made or maintain commitment to that new exercise routine you've started.  I find that I have that feeling of inspiration or motivation at seemingly random but frequent intervals.  I’m not sure if it’s because I am constantly searching for something to do with myself or if it’s because I am trying to allow myself to be open to things.  Either way, I find myself being inspired by things all the time, but often struggle with maintaining the energy of that motivation for longer than a couple of hours.  Story of my life.

This morning I stopped by a used book store near my house in search of a specific title.  In putting together a gift for my girls turning 30 this year, I have been on the hunt for a book I read about a while ago called 30 Things Ever Woman Should Have or Know By the Time She’s 30.  Apparently we shouldn’t have learned anything about brevity – which is good, because I struggle with that concept.  At any rate, I had never been to this book store before and was reveling in the moment of quiet, child free book perusal once I walked in.  Savannah was at daycare and it was the first time I let myself wander into such a place in a really long time. 

I immediately felt the warmth of the words, sentences and ideas filling the room.  I looked around and was in awe of how beautiful the books looked on display and how comfortable it felt in there.  I easily could have lost the entire day in that store.  Anyway, somewhere between The Best American Short Stories of 2007 and The Purpose Driven Life I realized that there was not a single copy of the book I was looking for.  Disappointing, yes, but what I really felt as I read through the titles along the shelved walls was nostalgia and happiness.  A renewed sense of something I love and have loved all my life.  I came across titles I hadn’t seen in forever – works of literature that had, at one point or another, made me laugh or cry or reconsider a previously held understanding of something I thought I knew.  I found myself, just for a moment, wishing that I was back in college with my copy of Bastard Out of Carolina, under a tree on the quad with nothing but a Nalgene full of water, a snack and the time to read a book.  No pressures, except the expectation that I would finish the book and have something meaningful to say about it by the time class rolled around.  Oh the beauty of hindsight – realizing now what a beautiful thing it was to spend a day like that.  What I wouldn’t give to have reading a book and writing a paper be some of my only responsibilities for the day.  Isn’t it true that we so often take for granted the gifts we have in the present?  I’m currently trying to get better at that, but it doesn’t stop me from lingering over thoughts of what fun I’ve had in the past. (And, yes, I recognize that the fun of which I speak in this instance includes the activities of reading and writing.  Nerd alert!)

As I stood in the aisle, surrounded by books wearing the signs of their use, I kept thinking about all of the books I have read in the past and all the ones I still have to read collecting dust on my shelf at home.  I couldn’t bring myself to walk out with any more, cringing at the thought of those I already have at home, which I purchased in many other stores like this one and still haven’t once cracked the covers.  In that realization I had two thoughts:
 
1) I really need to find a way to work reading back into my daily life, and

2) I should be well on my way to writing something substantial by now.

Both of these thoughts made me sad for a moment.  Sad that it is so hard for me to organize and motivate myself to do things sometimes, like read and write, and sad that, although I have all of these thoughts in my head I can’t make thematic sense of them to put together a complete piece of work.  Once those thoughts were through my head, though, I continued to look at the books on the shelf before me.  Some of them may sit here for the next 2 years without even a glance and others that will get purchased like my own at home and never be read.  Who’s to say that if I wrote a book it wouldn’t end up as some random worn paperback on the back corner shelf of a thrift book shop?  That's not a defeatist attitude, by the way, just an honest notion.  Not exactly a motivational thought, but still one I have as my eyes graze over titles like Oral Sadism and the Vegetarian Personality and Worst. Person. Ever. that have probably only been sold to a handful of people who turned it right over to the thrift dealer.  

I snapped myself out of it.  What kind of outlook is that anyway?  If I am going to write something and try to get it published, I have to realize that, in the end, I am really doing it for me.  Then, I have to be comfortable with the idea that maybe only a handful of people, outside of those who will buy it out of support for me, will read it.  If I'm honest, to have something I have written bound and in print will be, in and of itself, a true victory - I'll worry about distribution once that's a legitimate concern of mine.  I guess I have to remind myself that writing, like teaching, goes like this: if you can reach at least one person in a positive way and effect some change for or in them, you have done your job.  With that realization I turned on my heel, let my fingers graze the books as I walked past them, and took myself out the door and back to the house.  I will write a book one day, when I am ready and have something useful to say about something I know a thing or two about.  Until then, I will just keep practicing.  In the end, I didn’t find the book that I wanted in that thrift shop.  Regardless, I think I still may have found some of what I didn’t realize I was also looking for.